what a beautiful accident.

2007-01-01T02:14:00.000+08:00

hmm. i wanted to blog about something down but after looking at ah hua, i can't help but cheer up. the only thing i want to say now is i am not alone. there is someone feeling the same way as i do. guess this happens to everyone at some point in time. i'll support you quietly. jiayou. (:

anyways, watching mtv chinese awards again for like the ten thousandth time. haha. w-inds now and i still get real high whenever they sing boogie woogie 66. haha. i am just someone who really knows how to zi high. haha.

okays. shall go back to my onlyella and mtv. cya people. i hope you are enjoying twenty oh seven fine. cos i am enjoying mine all till now. all 2 hours and 34mins of it.
(:

2007-01-01T01:32:00.001+08:00

first post of twenty oh seven.

i must say one thing. bus trips are really thought provoking. mrt trips too.

on the mrt today, i had flashbacks of my polka dots life. first, it was the agreement i had with ning to retire in koichi's hometown when we grow old. not sure if it's still on even though i really liked the idea of it. but it has to depends on my financial and marital status i guess. then i recalled the times when kiran and i decided that we should earn our first million by 25 before going on a world tour together.my future all of a sudden. haha.

okay okays. i'm going back to my showbiz and hana. i love ah hua and bawan!!!!!

((:

2006-12-30T01:17:00.000+08:00

feeling all emo now. somehow i find it really hard to face the fact that we are no longer that close anymore, or even, know each other now. i see it coming, i knew it will eventually turn out this way. but it's really hard.

this kinda thing always happen to be, year after year. it started with a lot, then slowly one by one they left. only few stayed on. everything is a facade. everything. actually, what happened shouldn't affect me, or should i say, it didn't affect me at all. i just want to say something, nag about something, be all emo about something.

life is getting lonelier. good thing about this is i'm quite a loner. i survive well alone, with some occasional visits from those i'm left with. more will come and go. probably more will go then come. but heck. i'll survive.

twenty oh six was filled with fear, anticipation and a little love. twenty oh seven will be lonely. as lonely as it can get. twenty oh seven will be filled with books, notes and studying. mugging shall start on first jan twenty oh seven. that's two days away. i have two more days of fun and soon, i'll be depriving myself of whatever little joy that may come. okay. maybe not all. a weekly screening of hana and an occasional movie will be fulfilling. new cds. more shows coming up. s.h.e, sebas, phantom, etc. i want to fill up my twenty oh seven with hardcore mugging, total commitment to greenie and an artistic recharge.

twenty oh seven. what a year. the bitter nineteen after legal eighteen after sour seventeen after sweet sixteen. wow. that's many years ago. people, i love you and you know who you are.

p.s. i think i am turning to be another mello. agree?

2006-12-28T00:28:00.000+08:00

i've been wanting to blog for a long time but i kept on forgetting to do so, or i just don't have the time. anyways, christmas is over! and i didn't do much. nothing special. the only highlight is probably the fact that while the whole world is counting down at places like town or vivo, i was having supper at amk central. haha. what a sad life aye. (:

work is okay, but i'm been overworked for a week. like midnight sales and full shift and morning shifts immediately. i could have collapsed yesterday if wen wasn't nice enough to bring my break forward by a day. then again, it was because stock was coming in today so she couldn't afford to let me off for the day. haha. i slept for like 16hours yesterday, clocking a brand new record of waking up at 7.37pm! yays! haha.

basically, what i've been wanting to say for a long time is that i am so happy, so comfortable with the environment i am now in, that i don't feel like leaving the place at all. even going back to my happy school life is not going to make things any easier. i already miss the funny aunties! my most loved joey! ah! ahzu! my wu nv lao shi! gosh. i'll miss her so. today she just commented that i haven't talked back to her for one whole day. and i asked her if she'll miss me. guess what she said? she told me to call back once a day to talk back to her. haha. she'll miss me so. how can i bear to leave her?! sigh.

once again, i'll thank you guys for being there for the past 2 months.
my managers. sharon tay, jennifer ong and karin chun. only karin stayed the longest but i have known sharon since last year. i'll never forget these 2 because one is so cute and the other, so pretty.

my supervisors. wendy, sharon lee and aloysius. i love wen so much! since i worked for her last year, she seems to be a lot cuter now. and she's real sacarstic at times. but i love her for that. sharon lee is someone who i only got to know for a while but she's nice. like a kid herself. i still can't believe her kid is like a few years old already. and her hubby sure is tall. haha. aloy. funny guy with a funny accent and a funny character. gonna miss him so much! and he loves to suddenly burst out singing. haha. funniest guy ever.

my ba. joey, valerie, cindy, helen, lynn, yenny, selene, sofhie. hope i didn't leave anyone out. they are one funny bunch of aunties and young ladies! without them around, there's always laughter. man. i am so bias but i love joey!!!!! okays. (:

my cashiers. erica and gigi. erica is my gao ren and she's really fantastic. she's the one i was having supper with when the whole world was counting down to christmas. haha. gigi is a teacher figure and she's really knowledgeble with a sense of humour at times. haha.

my partner. katherine aka ah kat aka lao mei. she's weirdly funny. haha. this sounds so bad. haha. i have learnt to enjoy her company over the days. times with her in the store will be greatly missed.

star appearances. jasmine mung and jacqueline, they appear once a week but they are 2 funny ladies. ah mung is so cute. she pampers her daughter like she's s princess and ah jac is one who looks real young. she is 28 but she looks 22. recently, she got her hair done in a punk style and dyed dark red, she looks 19 or 20. it's difficult to even guess that her age, lest the fact that she's married.

guest appearances. xiao wendy from cck and sarah from ps. wendy came for a day and she's really bubbly. made that day really brighter. sarah was with us for about 2 weeks or more. she's one malay girl who really enjoys watching hongkong korean dramas. her family even subscribes to cable channel 55 and 56! haha.

anyways, i really enjoyed the time spent with this group of ladies and i really don't feel like leaving them but i don't have a choice, do i. so, i am going to enjoy the last 4 days with them and hope they will ask me along for the next karaoke outing! haha. it will be one hell of a fun time! yays!

it's the 28th already. people, school is starting for a few of us while most will be working or looking for jobs while waiting for results. there are even a few who will be enjoying orientation. i am so gonna miss everyone! i keep telling myself that i will put my best into studying next year but i don't know where to get the motivation from. but there's no choice for me except that i really have to put my everything into studying for a's. i still hope to meet you guys in uni, especially my poly friends. loves, we have to get into uni together okay. don't leave me there alone. jojo or mich, i do want to get into the same course with you in uni. so wait for me okays. we will do it together. man. talking about the future is making me all sentimental.

just now on the bus i was even thinking of what course to take in uni. film studies/mass comm tops the list but i want to do something that has to do with chinese too. weird but i want to. sociology sounds good too. the other day, mabel from marketing came to help with midnights sales and she told me she took sociology in uni. she's my senior from sa by the way. seems like sociology is a course that suits my criteria because i want to do something that have to do with the masses, the people.

i don't know. i don't know. somehow in singapore there's nothing much you can achieve with the arts. was trying to introduce some esplanade programs to lynn and erica this afternoon and lynn sugggested that i should go into the threatre industry because i seem to have a passion for it. but, how do one survive just working in the threatre. it'll take years before one can have a stable income. like what zunnie said in ylbfb yesterday, no one in brunei dreams about being an artise. guess that's the situation in singapore too.we are too constrained by the standards set by our ancestors, our parents, the society and probably, by the way we are brought up. dang. it'll be good if i weren't born into this society. then again, i might have been in a worse situation like being in a third world country.

i don't want to think so much but i can't. i can't. school life is supposed to be the happiest time in life. i just have to learn to enjoy 2007. may 2008 be better. okays. too much brain juice is being used up in this post. gotta rest my mind now. cya people. love you all.

2006-12-18T00:54:00.000+08:00

it's been like years since i last had an idol. okay. a real idol, the way i used to idolise eg. and now, the lucky winner this time round is.....zhezhe!! haha. okays, yuzhe, or more commonly known as tang yuzhe. if you still don't get it, it's okay. he is even more commonly known as nan xuezhang in hana kimi. get it? finally? cool. (:

anyways, as i am saying, it's been years since i had an idol. yes people, i hear you. david and dongliang ain't my idols. they were just passing by at the correct time. =D ever since eg times, i haven't logged onto yahoo jiazu to find pictures of an artise. just to find yuzhe's photos, i looked up and down, left and right, in and out. joined jiazus, went to websites that might contain just a little about yuzhe. doesn't this sound so like the time when i was into eg? (:

my taste in people is always the weirdest thing you guys find about me. you doubt my taste. seriously, my taste is a little weird. hee. but hey! i'll prove to you guys that yuzhe will make it big soon. by then, don't come telling me how cute he is, cos i told you guys first. (:

you guys just don't appreciate my taste yah. shing keeps on telling me that yuzhe is ugly and da dong and zunnie is cuter. she even told me not to discriminate people from brunei. eh babe, i am not okay. i know they are cute, but now, yuzhe is the cutest. heee. (:

anyways, the main focus of this post is to tell you that i am finally back in the scene again! the idolising scene. heehee. and i love yuzhe. he's making me feel the way i felt when i liked wei. yays!

lastly, i bought hana's pictorial book, soundtrack and play mag today! and it's all about ah hua and zunnie and da dong and yuzhe today. tell me i am a happy girl man. ((:

oh. and finally i realised which artise i liked most in my life other than daniel. she happens to be a he in hana. ah hua! she's so cute can. i love her a lot. seems like ever since 2001, i've been liking her. that's a long long time of 5 years. it's called long-term love. haha. unlike wei's which is super sudden and passionate and totally short-term.

p.s. this post is so choppy. guess my mind isn't working the right way now. too high over ah hua. ((:

2006-12-11T22:51:00.000+08:00

one thing i forgot to mention.

picked wyn from work on saturday. while waiting for her, i roamed marina square and reached groove nation, a part where there are live performances. caught a perfomance by this group called collide. 3 guys, one bassist, one guitarist/vocals, one main guitarist/back-up vocals. their music is simple. actually, they performed mostly known hits except for the finale piece which is an original composition by the main guitarist. it's titled failing vision. not a bad piece.

anyways, i found the simple, basic joy of enjoying music. just a guitar and vocals will do. the bass only comes in in certain parts. it's good. good music. we should encourage more of such performances. such unexpected performance always make my day. the last time i enjoyed such a performance is by phil winds, a little more than a year ago. till today, it's still a beautiful accident. (:

i remember the first thing i spent my pay on was the machi album. this time round, the first thing i am going to spend it on will be the tickets to the budak pandai showcase. then it'll go to the paying for jack & the bean-sprout followed by probably tickets to phantom of the opera and titoudao. and of course, the S.H.E concert. haha. pure cheesy chinese bubblegum pop. yays! haha.

i want to get an album too. probably get the Jazz In The City 2. heard it the other day. not too bad. or some other jazz album. the only jazz album i have is Jazz In The City and it's with dha, since like forever. haha. or i might just get a christmas album. 'tis the season to be jolly. and more money to go to wen's present and christmas presents for all. whoa. seems like pay is not enough. too bad. cpf took off quite a bit. oh wells. have to make do with what i have.

okays okays. back to my solitare. love you guys.
(:

2006-12-11T21:47:00.000+08:00

okays people. i am back! hee. and thanks to the new explorer which i downloaded unknowingly, this window looks weird with different fonts. urgh. anyways, let's not allow this little thing to dampen our mood.

today, i shall introduce someone to you guys. he goes by the name, aloysius saw. aloy is my supervisor now, wynny's ex supervisor. he also happens to be the guy with the weirdest sense of humour. one classic example.

aloy walks into the office. ah girl was doing a blow job.
aloy,"ah girl, wen leh?" (ah girl, where's wen?)
ah girl,"ta qu chi fan." (she went for dinner)
aloy,"ta qu chi fan? wei shen me ta qu chi fan? ta zen me ke yi qu chi fan." (she went for dinner? why did she go for dinner? how can she go for dinner.)
ah girl just kept quiet, couldn't be bothered the tiniest bit about him.
aloy after about fifteen seconds.
aloy,"haha. kai wan xiao er yi lah. haha." (haha. i'm just joking. haha.)
ah girl: (-_-)

see. how retarded loy is. how weird is his sense of humour. i can't help but be amazed by it. and he also is the most embarrassing guy i've ever known.

erica brought helen, yenny, aloy and ah girl shopping at espirit. aloy decides to buy a box of underwear. he passed the thing to erica as she's paying first. then aloy decided to display his sense of hunour again. pointing to the box, he said,"ah. see. erica buying for boyfriend." like diao... no one showed any reaction anyway. after paying, aloy took the receipt from erica to check the price. on the receipt it shows size S. aloy was so surprised because he supposedly bought M. so he took out his box of boxers on the escalator and said,"M mah." then he did the most embarrassing thing ever. he removed one pair of underwear from the box and held it in the middle of the air, looking at the size, making sure it was right. like hello! we happen to be in a very crowded part of town. helen, yenny and ah girl decided to make a dash back to the shop, running as far away from aloy as possible. as you think everything has come to an end, no! aloy went home, holding the box if underwear on his hands. no carrier, nothing. just the box of underwear. he refused to take a bag and carry it inside. so our main lead, aloysius saw, went home, in his really pretty clothes and a box of underwear. the end.

get my point? about 20 more days with him. wish me luck and hope i don't puke blood or suffer from internal bleeding by the end of december.
keep my thoughts from running wild.
((:

2006-12-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

like that called love?

there's a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
like that called love?
there's something wrong and i don't know what,
like that called love?
my heart goes haywire, my brain upside down,
i want to be like a hero, but i feel like a clown,
i get a heart attack everytime she frown,
like that called love ah?

the things i've been feeling makes me want to choke,
can this be love?
i always thought romance was just a joke,
am i in love?
when i'm down there, i realise i miss her,
when i'm up here and just want to kiss,
eeee, no way no way,
i can't kiss her,
like that called love meh?

her love is as loud as a car alarm,
her touch is as soft as a lorry,
if i give in to her jumbo charm,
i know my ribs will be sorry.

but every time she smiles,
my heart melts.
wah kao, wah lao, wah piang,
like that call love.

he's an ordinary sized boy,
in an ordinary sized frame,
with pretty average looks,
and a pretty average name.
but here's what i found, when i took him apart,
he's got a giant sized heart.

his smile is a little bit crooked,
and his hair is shiny with gel.
he doesn't have the tiniest clue about women,
i can tell.
but as i suspected, right from the start,
he's got a giant sized heart.

i know his strength is half of mine,
i'll have to learn to be gentle.
but there's no funnier valentine,
he makes me sentimental.
and every time he smiles,
my heart soars,

i'm full of joy, acting coy,
for my boy,
i'm in love.

and though our lives maybe worlds apart,
with him so far below me, (but deep inside i feel)
until we stand here heart to heart, (just how right this is)
i've got to let him know me. (i've got to let her know)
and everytime i'm with him, (for once in my life)
i'll show him, (i know what i want)
till he can see that him and me are meant to be, (wah kao, wah lao, wah piang)
we're in love. (like that call love)

we're in love..

2006-12-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

one liner.

in love with a certain jack now.

"wah kao, wah lao, wah piang, like that called love?"

i guess, it is called love.

((:

2006-11-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

i say things that are out of the expectations of those who know me. those who has seen my daily actions and behaviour. i hardly have an in-depth conversation with you guys.

what is an in-depth conversation? a conversation that will start us all thinking. not about things like gossip which also starts us thinking. but thinking that might aid us later in life, that allows us to understand the whole, the way of life better.

there are few such conversations held. i like the ones i had with da, with yJ and with adi. they got me thinking. and yah. suaku too. when she's not feeling too down. it's kinda nice to think, but not too frequently. it will turn out to be negative. oh. and i like the conversations we hold in the prata shop. the what if game. it sets me thinking. does it makes you think too?

2006-11-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

it's down to one more paper. till the end of a's for most. if i were supposed to take a's this year, i'll be down to my one last paper. and the timetable sucks. hope i don't get that next year. pretty please.

anyways, one more chemistry paper one to go. fight on people. fight on my love. after the 17th, we can party. can we go out soon? hee. the 24th is just around the corner. i so cannot wait for it to never ever arrive. but it will. it will. i only hope when that day comes, we will face it calmly, with all the love and joy we have for each other, and not sadness.

on a lighter note, i love working with this brunch of crazy people. haha. okays okays. i hear you. crazy aunties right. haha. they are, wendy, joey, valerie, cindy, sharon, sarah, helen, jasmine, erica, gigi, selene and katherine. not that i enjoy working with all of them, i don't like chao kah, but on the whole, it's fun! they are so comical, so bubbly, so funny. and they speak in dialects and chinese. haha. only during this period can i say,"i don't understand cantonese" in cantonese. haha.

okays people. should be starting to watch gong or xue shan fei hu soon. till the next time, ((:

p.s. i'm going to vivo tomorrow! :D:D:D:D:D

2006-11-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

have i ever told you i love you?
today's entry will be on da. yes, my beloved da. it starts from the first time da got me a gift.

i still remember the first time da bought me a gift. it's a bag of cookies from famous amos. received it on the day we met up to go over to mi to check out the place. we were supposed to meet at clementi because da wanted to go get some stuff first. who knows, it turns out to be a bag of cookies for me! i think da went all the way to town to get those cookies before heading to clementi. thanks da. thanks.

the days in mi were great. we went to school together in the mornings, meeting weird taxi uncles who spoke to 2 students in hokkien. and a few taxi uncles who took us on a roundabout, thinking we didn't know the way. haha. we came home together at the beginning, with weicong and guotai. slowly, we began to have our own lives in school. however, the morning meetings were consistent, till the day da withdrew. from then on, i started taking a long bus trip to toh tuck all by myself, for about 2 weeks, i think.

da's birthday falls on jan, which is during the mi period. wanted to get a wallet as a gift but i never had the money. can't be helped when i am such a glutton.

da and i stopped meeting when jae started. then again, we never met even before pae so it's life back to normal. we will only see each other when we somehow bump into each other on our ways home. those chances are rare, considering the fact that we live really near. on my birthday, da came over and gave me a doraemon coin bank and a can of doraemon sweets. had a good chat before parting. that day, da also found out i retained. guess da's the first to find out other than my classmates/schoolmates. life goes on till a little before da's birthday. went shopping with ahma for presents! a fragrance and a pullover. we wanted so much to keep it for ourselves right? ((: ahma said i splurged but hey, you splurged months later too. so, peace. heee. anways, da said it was the most thoughtful gift ever. maybe it was said with the purpose of making me happy, and guess what? it did. (:

bumped into da twice this year. once when we were messaging when da suddenly called and told me to turn around. there da was, just walking behind me. amazingly,da recognised me from the back. haha. another time was when i was wtih merv when we saw each other. only managed a hi and a smile because i was talking to merv. the last time we met was to pass me my birthday gift. da was trying to be thoughtful and got me a wonderful gift. now, it almost never leaves my side.

in all, i just want to say thank you to da. for being here for me all the time. you never fail to brighten up my life with the little thoughts. you never fail to show me concern at the appropriate times, like you can predict whatever is happening. you might not know this but, you gave me the strength to continue on the journey. thank you, really, thank you. no amount of thank yous will ever be enough but, thank you. and i thank you once again.

a song that goes out to da.

Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed I
'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

da, i love you.
(:

2006-11-11T01:41:00.000+08:00

okays. more lyrics coming up. haha. listening to the older songs again, that's why there's new discovery of old song lyrics. love them a lot, really do.

杨丞琳 - 过敏
你消失的一百天　
我没了笑脸　
怕别人看见　
我敏感的神经线　
一点一点　没知觉　

泛红双眼　不成眠　
它跟着我一整夜　
麻痹的脸　特效药也　无解　

才发现　我正搁浅在爱情过敏的季节　
OH过敏源　是对你的思念　
我想我　才了解　我正停格在爱情过敏的季节　
季节没改变　是想念　没断线　

我想我　才发现　
感情尘蹒已布满了我的世界　
OH过敏源　是为你流的泪　
我想我　才了解　就算用尽了力气也未必如愿　
季节没改变　是眼泪　弄湿脸　
季节一直变但我的心　没有变　

你消失的一百天　我没了笑脸　
没知觉

i particularly love this line - 过敏源　是为你流的泪 pretty yah. (:

萧亚轩 - 吻
如果时间能把我们的思念稀释了
从此以后互不相干
各自爱着别的人
只要不遇见
忽然下雨的清晨
在起床的时候
会莫名的失神

说好决定要努力忘了啊
为何还有泪停在脸角
你身边是否还是那个她
取代我在你醒来吻你吗
取代我在你睡前吻你吗

如果当时我们都能够勇敢的承认
因为太在乎对方所以才倔强的等待着
后来每个失眠的午夜时分
还不愿意后悔却忍不住会问
那段流着眼泪寻找解答的日子已过去了
只是没想到爱情要
我们付出漫长想念代价

love it. especially the second line in red. somehow, i like it better than the line before it. weird yah.

萧亚轩 - 他和她的故事
他说他很爱她
他说会守护她
他送她玫瑰花
一切美得不像话

从朋友变成情人
她不再只有自己
他爱他爱得彻底
真心溢满了甜蜜

时间看清一个人
开始令人昏沉沉
他像变了一个人太蛮横
她开始悬著疑问
不想再等他承认
不再要任何伤痕

谁爱谁
谁又流乾了眼泪
谁后悔
难分难舍太伤悲
他爱谁
谁应该止住眼泪
她心碎
谁又该乾脆离开
谁爱谁
谁又能反反覆覆
谁后悔
谁在忍受著孤独
谁了解他退出她孤独
谁了解谁退出谁孤独
爱得太盲目
谁不满足

i like the way this is written. (:

刘若英 - 后来
后来我总算学会了如何去爱
可惜你早已远去
消失在人海
后来
终于在眼泪中明白
有些人一旦错过就不再

槴子花白花瓣落在我蓝色百褶裙上
“爱你！”你轻声说
我低下头闻见一阵芬芳
那个永恒的夜晚
十七岁仲夏你吻我的那个夜晚
让我往后的时光
每当有感叹
总想起当天的星光

那时候的爱情
为什么就能那样简单
而又是为什么人年少时
一定要让深爱的人受伤

在这相似的深夜里
你是否一样
也在静静追悔感伤
如果当时我们能不那么倔强
现在也不那么遗憾

你都如何回忆我
带著笑或是很沉默
这些年来有没有人能让你不寂寞

永远不会再重来
有一个男孩爱著那个女孩

the last line is so true. so simple and yet, true.

范玮琪 - 可不可以不勇敢
你用浓浓的鼻音说一点也没事
反正又美又痛才是爱的本质
一个人旅行也许更有意思
和他真正结束才能重新开始
几年贴心的日子换分手两个字
你却严格只准自己哭一下子
看着你努力想微笑的样子
我的心像大雨将至那么潮湿

我们可不可以不勇敢？
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢？
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白的放声哭喊？
要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难

love the first line in red. simply beautiful. and the lyrics speaks right to the heart.

范玮琪 - 他没有错
就这样放了彼此的手
究竟是尽头还是个出口
只是我还记得
他每一次抚摸
只是我还熟悉
他每一个轮廓
不知道从此要难过多久
我相信一定和孤独一样久
原来天长地久
是形容一种痛
这样的有始有终换来
怎样的海阔天空

他没有错
只是没有爱我很久
他没有错
是我飞蛾扑火
我求一个经过
不妄想一个结果
他没有错
他没有错
只是没有为我停留
他没有错
是爱的不是时候
他没有错
只是没有陪我到最后
没有陪我到最后

原来天长地久是形容一种痛 - a new perspective towards 天长地久. instead of loving one forever, it's more of feeling the pain of leaving your loved one forever. pretty.

S.H.E - 记得要忘记
在就要转身前
突然又想起你
相遇的那天漾着微笑的你
那个微笑还是很美丽
可惜那个人常常要让人哭泣

太耀眼的城市不适合看星星
就如同你的心不适合谈安定
谢谢你让我伤过心
学会爱情并非执迷
人改变不了改变不了的事情

记得要忘记忘记
我提醒自己
你已经是人海中的一个背影
长长时光
我应该要有新的回忆

人无法决定会为谁动心
但至少可以决定放不放弃
我承认我还是会爱着你
但我将永不再触碰这记忆

记得要忘记
忘记经过我的你
毕竟只是很偶像的那种相遇
不会不容易我有一辈子
足够用来忘记
我还有一辈子
可以用来努力
我一定会忘记你

my all time favourite. the very first song that made me cry just by listening to it. no one else seems to appreciate it as much as i do. oh wells.

光良 - 第一次
当你看着我
我没有开口
已被你猜透
还是没把握
还是没有符合
你的要求

是我自己想得太多
还是你也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我
我鼓起勇气去接受
不知不觉让视线开始闪烁

喔第一次我
说爱你的时候
呼吸难过
心不停地颤抖
喔第一次我
牵起你的双手
失去方向
不知该往那儿走
那是一起相爱的理由
(对我) 那是一起厮守

喔第一次吻
你深深的酒涡
想要清醒却冲昏了头
喔第一次你
躺在我的胸口
二十四小时
没有分开过
那是第一次知道
天长地久
感觉你属于我
感觉你的眼眸

第一次就决定
决不会错

another song that i loved from the first time i heard it. i even bought the album. that's great aye. (:

H.O.T. - A Song For A Lady
对不起是我让你难过
让你在雪白的脸颊
流下了泪水
对不起你要原谅我
你离开我对我是件
很可怕的事
因为太爱你
所以那一段日子
没有你是难过又寂寞
下雨的日子里
我总是淋着雨
不断的哭泣

我好爱你好想见你
与你相遇而感到幸福
我要发誓以后绝对不会
再难过悲伤
一定要回来喔

对不起我爱你
我真的对不起你
我怀念和你在一起的日子
我爱你
不知道这首歌反复
唱了多少次
不断地流下泪水

今天好想见到你
我紧紧把你的照片握在手上
泪水掉落在你的脸上
像是你也在哭泣

我好爱你好想见到你
与你相遇而感到幸福
我要发誓以后绝对不会
再难过悲伤现在
你该回来了吧

我要相信你
爱你一次就好
请你抱紧我以你为理由
我不会再哭
你是我最后一个爱

我会为了不再失去而祈祷

i finally found out the meaning of the song. before today, i never knew. from my very limited korean, i inferred that it's a really sad song. seems like it. i love the part after the chorus where the guy said those lines. i love this song a lot, a lot, a lot.

(:

2006-11-11T00:53:00.000+08:00

the more i read, the more i see, the worse i feel. damn.
so far, so far, so far away.

on the other hand, nearer and nearer. to da.
thanks for being there whenever i needed you.
thanks for always making my life so much better.
thanks for the right timing, all the time.
thanks.
love you.

2006-11-08T02:14:00.001+08:00

ahh! i got it i got it i got it!! it's KEN HIRAI! haha. so it does have a H in it. haha. that line sounds weird too. okays. anyways, i got it. hahaa.

2006-11-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

okays. i am like currently in love with seng again. haha. he never fails to amaze me with his voice, over and over again. guess what? i am now totally in love with 凌晨三点钟

这是你离开的第三个星期六
面包我吃了两口
啤酒还剩半升
香烟我还是一包接一包地抽
你搬走了以后
我还会常常在你住的公寓底下
等你下楼

现在是凌晨三点钟
喝了点酒头有点痛
寂寞的烟点燃空虚的夜
暂时把心放空
你晾的床单忘了收
没烫的衬衫有点皱
明天开始我将如何面对
没有你的以后

那些美好的画面反复在播送
但心破碎了之后
要怎么去拼凑

Baby Baby
Love can be so beautiful
只怪那一刻话说得太重
所有的情节都失控
Baby Baby
Love should be so beautiful
你给的太多
现在我才懂
只有烟和酒陪伴的
凌晨三点钟

现在是凌晨三点钟
喝了点酒头有点痛
你晾的床单忘了收
没烫的衬衫有点皱
明天开始我将如何面对
没有你的以后

凌乱的房间里头
还留着你的香味
怎么也戒不掉你独特的笑容
如果时钟倒着走
我不会再让你走
有些事情要绝望到底
才能看得透

yeah. i think the lyrics is beautiful. very beautiful. and i just saw super junior's mv on mtv just now. the song is U. gosh. they can dance man. like wooyeah. hee. love it baby, love it. i thought it was dbsk but the fact that they had a lot of people made me believe that dbsk's dancers won't have the equal amount of limelight so, it's super junior. haha. this line looks damn weird. oh wells. anyways, all i want to say it, i want to dance! i want to look at people dancing. good thing nex's production is this coming saturday. haven't seen a real dance performance since like the hip hop finals man. i can't wait. i can't wait. i can't wait! ((:

one more thing. i love pin guan's new song too.
无可救药

暗恋是一种礼貌暗地里盖一座城堡
然后再当你的警卫跑腿和小猫
随时你要我重灌电脑随时你要我随传随到
买面包鸡排和水饺

你每次对着我笑你的笑里面有毒药
我看着你出了神还丢掉了解药
可能你从来没感觉到最好你永远感觉不到
爱上你越来越无可救药

一天一天越来越无可救药
一生一次爱你到无可救药
我才慢慢体会到幸福是被爱的人需要
一天一天越来越无可救药
一生一次爱你到无可救药
我才狠狠决定要就爱吧
就这样吧就不逃
爱你到无可救药

heard him sang it live the other day. yah. fell in love with it. it's love at first hearing. haha. so wrong lah that line. haha. anyways, ah shin write lyrics pretty well. his lyrics are always so beautiful. it's like, a painting. a movie. a story. haha. this is so duh can. haha. just crapping now.

one last thing. just saw K's mv on mtv too. haha. the song is first christmas. okay. i think he sings well. and points are added to the fact that he played the piano in the mv. i mentioned this before right? i love guys playing the piano. okay. that's out of point. anyways, i think he has the potential to take over the top male singer in japan. at least the one i think is the top. haha. and guess what? i forgot his name. totally. seriously. and now, i am feeling very sad because i can't recall his name, at all. he looks a bit angmoh. he's the one who sang Gaining Through Losing. you know, the liu xing yu song. and i freaking cannot remember his name. damn. i keep on thinking that it starts with a H. but what? then i thought that it could be Ryu but no?! eeyer. i forgot. freak it. know who i am talking about? drop me a shoutout on his name okay. thanks.

end of my randomness now. and wei xiao is 45mins away. yays! finally. after like 6+ hours. by the time it finally finish loading, it'll be 7hours. wow. haha. that's why udee is a little lag now but it seems like he has recovered. wooh. yays. i can now finally blog without the lag but i am done with it. urgh. stupid udee. still, i love you boy.
(:

2006-11-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

ah. i finally understand. haha. i know why now. i know. the wanbao ah. they wrote duo ai wo yi dian. no wonder lah. no wonder i didn't get it when i was reading it. ah. now i know. okays. this is really random.

((:
and mou mou ren.

2006-11-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

hellos my loves. haha. i love you. haha. damn high. okays. it's just that i've been away from blogging too long!! haha. so now that i am back, i am high. doesn't make sense? no worries, cos i don't understand what i am talking about too. haha. yu wu lun ci. haha.

okays. first up. happy belated birthday to mr zhang. he is 26 this year, if i am not wrong. haha. i totally forgot about it until i read the wanbao just now. haha. sorry babe. sorry. okays. and i have to admit i am pretty slow. haha. they said eg sang duo ai wo yi tian together, and i was like orh. then, half an hour later, i came to realisation that it's duo ai. haha. how slow right. it's like my favourite and a very important song and i just forgot about it. haha. this shows how far away from the eg times i am. haha. this line sounds weird. haha.

what else? hmm. i don't know what to say lah! haha. ah. okays. got it.

since i don't know when, i've been calling people by their surnames. like mr zhang. mr etc, mr etc. haha. i can't remember how else but got lah. haha. then it's choo and phua and kor and gan. haha. so weird eh. haha. okays. that's pretty random. yah. haha.

bye bye! hahaa.

2006-10-31T22:04:00.000+08:00

one shoutout to the one who might never ever read this.

my angel, where are you? haven't heard from you for, say, a year? i forgot about you too. sorry. i think i need you now. can you get into contact with me again? but know what? if you manage to see this and contact me, i should be able to find out who you are. haha. oh wells. didn't mean to scare you. haha. i won't go and search, because GAs are supposed to be kept a secret. do send me a mail through the email add you gave me the last time okays. to my present email add. angel, at least drop me a note to tell me you're always here. silently. thanks.

love,
the one who are looking after.

2006-10-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

for you people out there, you know who you are, i do know what is going on in your minds. i know. just that i have no wish to declare war cos i do love peace and don't like trouble. yups. but just don't think i act as if i don't know doesn't mean you can go on with it. oh well. you guys won't even read my blog in the first place. lastly, i like to say i really don't give a damn about what you think cos it's my life. and i live it the way i want(:

2006-10-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

ohohs. back to those i never belonged days. hur. but heck it man. heck. all i need is my love. my love. my lover. hahahaa. oh nos. a bit high over here.
=D

2006-10-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

met up with graceh today. heee. had fun. okays. at least i had fun. haha. and shopping is fun but sucks when you can't decide which one to get. haha. i am a very fickle-minded shopper. haha.
i love graceh! ((:

okays. and i watched wei xiao 16 this morning. hahaha. i can only say dongliang is getting cuter with each episode and gino and xiaoqiao so cute lah! haha. love love love.

lastly, tomorrow is working day. yays. excited and nervous. hmm. i can't wait to start man. =D

ah. one more thing. drank my very first ang gu today. haha. choo and phua! what's so nice about ang gu?! eeyer. hahaa.

and, graceh, we have to go K soon. then we can sing our ring ring song. hahaaa.

love you people!

2006-10-30T16:16:00.001+08:00

after udee, i have a new love in my life. and it shall be named kent. i love the name kent! for nickname, you can call it kenny. haha. isn't it longer than kent? haha.
((:

i love kent!

2006-10-29T02:26:00.000+08:00

okays. feeling totally different from yesterday. around 1hour later than this time yesterday, i was feeling troubled about 2007. feeling so lost and down. couldn't get to sleep at all. i tossed and turned in bed, thoughts running running running non-stop. i thought it could jolly well be the end of the world for me.

but now, about 22hours later, i am feeling so energetic. life can't get any better. i have the love from people i least expected. it came as a shock at first, but now it's a source of comfort. thanks for telling me how much i meant to you, even though i don't think i did anything much. you were exaggerating but heck, i'm going to take it seriously. hee. glad that you think i did a lot for you. maybe i did, unknowingly. provided you warmth aye. thanks to ahma for her idea of a pullover. haha.

anyways, i have to thank you for everything too. for caring for me. thinking about me whenever there's a change in weather. haha. sounds weird but hey, thanks. haha. for the good nights and good mornings. for the love, hugs and kisses. haha. this sounds so wrong. haha. thanks for being there, just being there. and yes, should i need a shoulder to cry on, you better be present. you must fly back from wherever you are, i don't care. being demanding here but you promised, so stick to it. maybe i will go and send you off. maybe i won't. depends. the most i can do now is to encourage you through A's. hee.

so, fight on. about less than 5 days to A's, press on for it. excel in it. make me proud of you babe. you can do it. and don't you dare fall sick now. sinus is common for you in the mornings so it won't affect your exams right? it won't right? oh wells.

thanks for everything. everything. everything. all the times from 2004 (or is it 2003?) till now. may we have many more days to go on and reminisce about. love ya babe. love ya.
(:

2006-10-28T23:56:00.000+08:00

A Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't be alone
Cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
__________________________________________________
thanks to da for the song. thanks. same goes for you okays.
(:

2006-10-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

first i had so many things running through my head concerning next year.
then now i have so many things runnning through my head concerning da. urgh.

stupid da! stupid da! stupid da! thanks for making me so troubled now that i don't know how to react. damn you. but babe, thanks okay. thanks. you shouldn't have done this but thanks. will accept your good intentions but get this right okays, i'm not worth it. not at all. don't think so highly of me yah. i did nothing to deserve this. damn.

da, you are making me lost. so lost. and helpless. only thing i can do now is to repay your kindness next year. i will. no worries. i'll always be happy, the way you want me to be. i will not be bored, because you don't like me being bored. and i will study hard. mug hard. for a's. no worries babe. i will.

da, really. thank you. there's not enough thanks to cover my gratitude for you. and i am feeling so empty now, thanks to you. urgh. this is a love-hate relationship man. damn. okays. off to feeling troubled again. thank da, thanks.

2006-10-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just don't understand. how can people turn up late? i just don't get it. i only turn up late when i'm meeting graceh. haha. sorry girl but it's a mutual thing right? hee. anyways, i seem to be waiting for people all my life, whenever i go out. not that i mind, just that i never understood why. hmm. can anyone tell me why? other than the fact that they are girls. haha. could it be that they have no sense of urgency? don't care about those waiting? or what? why? i guess it's a mystery that always remains unsolved.

side track a little, it's been raining these days. take care people.
(:

2006-10-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

okays. watched deathnote yesterday. it's kinda disappointing. yah. not quite what i expected. wanted it to be better but it turns out to be boring at certain parts, especially the beginning. well. first time i actually have so many negative comments for a moive yah. i guess it shows that i really expected a lot from it.

it didn't follow closely to the manga but there are certains parts which the script writer came up that are good. like the part in the museum. very good and creative thinking from the script writer. thumbs up to her (just assumed it's a her. hee.)

what else? in all, i am just disappointed with the movie but i think part 2 will be way better from the trailer i watched. they are not going to show the whole story yah. probably till book 5 or 6 only. so there'll be no near or mello. oh wells. maybe it's the best choice after all as after L passed away, the story tends to get a little draggy. but, i will still support the movie, no matter what. why? because i really loved the story and maybe bcause it's the first comic series that i have completed collecting. i love deathnote.

one more thing. the guy who acted as light is ugly. can't stand the sight of him. the real light is handsome and suave. this one looks like mian bao chao ren. haha. sorry for being so mean. anyway, a warning to you people. don't ever catch a movie on weekends or last day of school. if you must, watch the morning show because the afternoon shows suck. the kids yesterday were making so much noise throughout the whole show, laughing and all. i can't even try to enjoy my moive. i don't understand their sense of humour at all. i can't understand it. oh wells. but i think the guys sitting beside me was pissed off by me. he left halfway through the show. i think it's me because i was eating nachos and it's loud when you bite into it. he showed signs of unhappiness whenever i bit into my nachos. i feel so bad. i tried to muffle the sound but it's not easy. sorry uncle/brother. sorry.

oh, that choo and phua dropped the whole nachos thing onto his bag and it became cheesy. haha. good thing the bag's orange so it's not so bad. haha. it's so comical can. haha.

one last thing. i think deathnote is bad only for those who read the manga so don't feel worried about watching it kays. it should be alright for you guys.

cheers.

2006-10-26T15:22:00.000+08:00

at the yamaha studio now. reminds me of the dance studio we went to in crestar (?) for the dance practice for the j8 performance years back. damn high! i miss the days man. i miss dancing. ah! someone bring me to dance! i want to dance! i need to dance! ah!! haha. freaking high! haa.

2006-10-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

standing on one leg is kinda interesting. like what i am doing now in yamaha. hee. it's weird looking but fun! heee. it tests one's patience and leg strength yah? haha. alrights. i balance better and longer on my left leg eh. isn't it weird? shouldn't it be the right? hmm.

2006-10-26T13:50:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder, why can't i play instruments unlike others. if i learnt from young, i might not even be tone-deaf now. however, maybe due to this, i've learnt to appreciate music a lot. okays. not a lot. but enough to enjoy myself. hee.

anyone interested to buy me cds or pay for my lessons? haha.

2006-10-26T11:24:00.000+08:00

i'm telling myself i can't shed a single tear for this. they can blame me, nag at me, scold me, but i won't cry. not really sure how much of this is my fault but i did tell them to study didn't i? damn. this situation is hard for all of us, not only you guys. will they understand? do they understand? damn. i don't feel good at all, not at all. shouldn't have put so much feelings into this relationship from the start. it's a mistake from the beginning. why? why? i ask myself repeatedly but i get no answer. no answer. absolutely nothing. who can i turn to for answers? who can i turn to for comfort? who can i blame for all this? no one. no one. damn. i'll start afresh. i hope to start afresh. hoping they can too. put everything behind and let's all have a new beginning. all of us think it's hard for ourselves but have we considered each others'? i think not. damn. cruelty of life. damn.

feeling a little better now but damn. oh wells.

2006-10-26T09:48:00.000+08:00

okays people, it's out. and yes, it's not what i wanted. then again, since when did things ever turn out the way we wanted. oh wells. i'll survive, like i have said all the time, i will survive. destined to be alone whenever there's a transit between the years. haha. heaven's making a fool out of me yah. haha.

people, i love you guys yah, and i love my cousins! i seem to stress this everyday but i really love you people. hee. love love love!

p.s. yes jo. it's jolin! haha.

2006-10-26T03:19:00.000+08:00

have i mentioned this before? i don't believe in fairy tales, the happy endings. my favourite princess is the little mermaid, ariel. in the original story by hans christian anderson, mermaid and her prince didn't get together in the end. he married the other woman. mermaid was supposed to stab the prince before sun rise to stay alive or turn into foam. guess what? she couldn't bear to kill him so she bid her sisters the final goodbye before turning into foam, disappearing into the horizon as the sun slowly rises. beautiful picture ain't it. but, she died. she sacrificed herself for her prince.

this is what i call true love and it doesn't happen in the real life. and i think the prince doesn't love her at all. which is really sad. she found her true love in him but she's not his. the cruelty of reality is shown here. it's so cruel. yet, disney can turn it into such a happy story. they do have the ability to make people happy don't they? make us believe in happy endings.

both disney and anderson has their different ways of seeing life, portraying it. one sees it happy, and it brought some light and hope into the lives of those who read their stories. on the other hand, anderson shows the real life. it's cruelty and sadness. there is no such thing as reciprocation of love. there's only something called giving your everything and losing them in the very end. the real way of life.

i think disney has done a great job in the sense that they don't expose children to the cruelty at a young age. instead, they made the beinning of their lives happier, giving them something to turn to when they are troubled or sadden by the cruelty in the later part of their lives.

as for me, i prefer anderson. somehow, it prepares one earlier, forcing them to face life and learn about it. how about you?

2006-10-26T02:16:00.000+08:00

there's always this thing in a song that touches your heart. at least for mine. like energy's duo ai wo yi tian. that line which mr zhang sang was fantastic. it hit home. till now, whenever i hear it, i still feel that thing in my heart. i love mr zhang for that.

listening to old eg's songs now. we can call it, reminiscence? i'm amazed at my own ability to remember the lyrics of the songs and telling apart one member's voice from the other. they will always remain a big and important part of my teens and polka dots life. thanks.

2006-10-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

to da, don't love me so much aye. i'm not worthy of it. but still, thanks for everything babe. thanks.
(:

2006-10-25T19:56:00.000+08:00

today would probably be the last day that i am so happy. after today, maybe i won't be me anymore. whatever happens tomorrow, i hope i can maintain my cool. better still, i might not even know the final outcome. keeping myself in denial till next jan 3rd. no matter what, i will aja aja fighty!

and on a random note, i love me cus! love you babes. love you.

2006-10-25T19:48:00.000+08:00

alrights people. i have to clear this thing today.

i don't get upset whenever someone mentions polka dots. okays. i only got upset once, when ST openly "critisized" our uniform. so don't think that you can't mention polka dots around me. or make fun of it. i can take it yah. because i know it's out of fun. yah. keep that in mind people. keep that in mind non-polka dotters. hee. nice name. ((:

on the happier side, went out with wynny today to interview. shopped around before going over. shopping is fun. i nearly bought a wallet but it's exterior ain't that fanstastic. loved the interior though. hope to find one similiar to that soon. anyways, starting work next wednesday. so book me now while you still can. because from wednesday onwards, i won't be able to go anymore. yups.

one more thing. i have outgrown the fast food phase so people, i am saved! haha. from all the fats i would likely gain if i continue eating fast food. yays! i am saved! haha. oleh oleh oleh oleh.

2006-10-23T21:03:00.000+08:00

after saturday, i realised a few more things about myself.

o1. chocolate is bad. no more chocolate for me.
o2. i like sitting on the floor. a lot. so if we go out and i suddenly sit on the floor, forgive me.
o3. squatting down is even better than sitting on the floor. but according to my fatherly figure, adi, it's not nice. unglam. not suitable for females at all. haha. so many times, he wanted to kick me lah. haha. sorry cus. hee.

okays. so. i am a very floor person. haha. i love the floor. eh. some seats really suck lah. like the one i sat on in tp macs today. bad. not backing. i like the normal chairs beside my table better. haha.

okays. randomness. =D

2006-10-23T19:04:00.000+08:00

today is not such a bad day. even though i missed school and missed all the drama in school, heck it. i'll either get to hear about it eventually or i just don't allow myself to be bothered by it. hee.

supposed to teach phua chinese today but sigh. i feel like vomitting blood. it's horrible. but oh wells. heck it. tried to teach him all the lu xun and his greatness. haha. information overload. ahaa. saw ahma and xiaojiao. oh my. this is damn surprising lah. like suddenly, hello! they are in front of me. haha. but didn't get to say much cos they weird weird lah. don't know why. hor ahma.

ahma! see you next thursday okay. heee. so exciting. haha.

going to watch my wei xiao 15 in about 2 hours time. yays! so fun. i can't wait to see my dongliang. he is so cute! heee.

okays. off to read my one piece and bleach. till then, love you babes!

2006-10-22T20:24:00.000+08:00

i realised i am not the average teenage girl you find on the streets.

i don't like sweet stuff. something nex found out about me. seems like it's true. i don't like chocolate, ice cream, sweets, name it. all the while, i thought i really liked sweet things. seems like i only like things that are really sweet in content but not sweet things in general. get me? you don't? nevermind.

i don't really shop. shopping to me is just a normal thing but i won't die without it. i can survive perfectly well without it. to me, shopping trips are trips spent with friends/cousins and look at them shop. yah. all i do is to enter a shop, say something is nice and then, wait for the others to finish shopping.

i don't like long hair. okay. put it this way. i would love to have long hair but i can't wait for it to grow. and i can't be bothered with how i look with or without long hair.

i nag a lot. like a lot. get it? a lot. i have the tendency to repeat myself over and over again, keep on harping on a topic or even, a sentence. that's actually an auntie behaviour, but i am like that. weird.

i also have the tendency to treat everyone as kids. like i am the oldest around, the motherly figure and i have the need/right to take care of you kids. have you noticed this before? i like to say kids a lot. even when i'm refering to those older than me. i always refer to guys as boy. like boy, you know it's wrong to do this. that sorta thing. a motherly figure.

what else? basically, i am not like a normal girl that needs people to take care of but more like an elder person who take care of others. hmm.

2006-10-22T20:16:00.000+08:00

i realised i like hugging people from behind. it's nice. really nice. resting my head on the person's back is good. real good. relaxing too. hee.

hugging from the front is a total different story. it's more of a connection between souls while hugging from the back is a form of relaxation and unwillingness to let that person go.

in all, i just like to hug. or it should be, i love to hug.

my human touch. where has it gone to? where'd you go? i miss you so.

2006-10-22T10:59:00.000+08:00

okays. it's post 18th birthday day and here i am to offer you babes (hunks?) my heartfelt thanks.

in the order of sms received:
gimgek
nanthini
da
dearest
carol
xiuhua
graceh
xiao jiao
michelle foo
khainam
priya
mellie
jimmy
shuann
eunice
chinyee
joanne
yongjin
peishan
sam
nana
suaku
michelle ng
caoyang
sarah
guotai
wynny
nexa
nicole.dance
valerie

thanks babes. thanks. and to the guys, hmm, thanks man. haha. special mention to carol and khainam. thanks for remembering. really. i didn't expect it at all. thanks. and to nam, eh, sorry babe. heee. other unexpected greetings are from priya, sarah, caoyang, mich ng, nicole, jimmy and shuann. thanks babes. thanks. (:

okays. another major event i have to thank for is A7. thanks kids. thanks. thanks for the "surprise" and making me eat all the cake so you can offer it nicely to the teachers. thanks.
to A7:
sally
roxanne
felicia
terrena
cheryl
yanyun
valerie
peiyu
elsie
clara
ragu
zakir
yongjin
serene
jonadab
(hope i didn't leave anyone out)

to chinyee, peishan, aiping, simhui and subing. thanks for remembering and caring before you guys leave for study break. i am really glad to have known you guys. thanks babes.

also, to my beloved cousins. love you guys lots.
thanks to bobby(alan) for dinner. i thank you on the behalf of the rest too.
to the girls, wynny, xueping, lynsey, for getting a huge chocolate cake which is almost impossible to finish.
to shing for appearing. it's like wow.
to xing for her rubber band. heee. it's really hot.
to adi, for being there. for letting me hold on to you like a pet (or so they say). can't help it if i like to hold on to something when i walk right. haha.

hey cousins, i really love you guys lots. lots. lots. and lots. and of course, alan, you are considered a cousin too. heehee. yesterday was fun. even though most of the time we were doing nothing. haha. just having the presence of you guys are enough to make my day. thanks.

all in all, thanks babes. thanks. love you guys to the sun and hope to come back in one piece.
(:

2006-10-20T21:03:00.000+08:00

to adi.

我终于知道自己的决定了。
我虽然渴望幸福，但却没有勇气去追求它。
而我现在所能做的也只有放开我的手，让它走。
我给你最后的疼爱是手放开。
最近很喜欢听李圣杰的歌。它们似乎每一首都是我的心情写照，听了感触极多。特别爱听最近和手放开，真的很好听。不妨去试试，我保证效果一定令你满意。

2006-10-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

i am learning to not take you guys for granted. life would be without you guys soon. i have to learn.

just today, during chapel, choo said,"this may be my last chapel with you." it's so bad. so bad. all the time, i was hoping that choo will go up with me because phua has confirmed to stay down, so at least i still have someone. but, she's thinking of staying down. i would, of course, encourage her to stay down as i believe it will only benefit her but i just can't bear to see her go. when she said those words to me, my heart broke. yet another scar, yet another scar. i didn't feel this bad when i left 79 but with choo and phua leaving me, i am almost on the verge of being killed.

choo and phua, you might not have realised it but i really cannot bear to see you leave. i am now trying to learn to be alone and independent, surviving without the 2 of you. this is hard, but i have to learn. there is no use living in denial but more hope trying to face the fact.

wanted to go for breakfast today because it could jolly well be our last breakfast together. enjoyed chapel because it might be the last. trying to secure all the time spent with you so that i won't regret not spending enough time together.

all in all, i just want to say thank you for being there. i love you and i will miss you.

2006-10-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

刚刚和堂哥聊了聊，是个有趣的谈话。

讲的自己不仅悲伤了起来。

突然觉得自己很笨，笨到不可救药。
不可以再想了，不可以。
别再笨下去了。

2006-10-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

i hate flu. or flu that is about to arrive. it makes me sad. like all teary eyed and tappy nose. it makes me want to listen to sad songs and feel sad. like what i am doing now. this is bad. like really bad. dang.

anyways, went to nexa's place today. hee. it's cool. haha. no lah. just that it's been damn long since i have last been there. and i miss whisky like crap. haha. this sounds wrong. haha. okay, back to the point. i miss whisky!! and i love him so much!! haha. the first ever dog that i dared to touch and learnt to like then finally, love. whisky is so cute!! ahh!! i miss him already. whisky!!!

2006-10-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

okays. results. people, come and ask me for 4D numbers okay. because i got exactly 4Ds for promos. haha. here it comes.

econs: D (kinda happy and sad. wanted to do better but from a U to a D in like 2 months is fanstastic. haha. it's D for promos and overall by the way.)

chinese: D (okays. this is not too bad. didn't screw it up as much as i thought. but i just can't understand why we must memorise the sub-headings when we know the content below it! urgh. i got the content but not the sub-headings so a lot less marks. damn.)

gp: D (for both promos and overall. kinda disappointed with my essay. only 26 but it's okay. learn from my mistakes. yah. anyway, my gp is 12th in class, which is out of 27. not bad eh. heehee. my AQ rocks. haha. 6 out of 8. tell me i am good. haha. have to thank karen for this. she taught me well. haha.)

chinese h1: A (like duh. hahaaa.)

maths: D!!!!! (woohoo. i can't believe it. thought it would be a E or S. haha. i passed my promos. on the dot. 22.5 out of 50. hahaa. the exact same grade as common test. haha. my CA must be pretty well done if not it's not so easy to get a D for overall. woohoo!)

geog: to be confirmed (got S for promos. i only need 0.5 more to an E. hope ms seow helps me find it. pretty please. hoping to get an E for overall. should know by tomorrow. pray.)

so now, without counting chinese h1 and geog, i have obtained 37.5points! yays. i am promoted! hee. final score will probably be 42.5points or 47.5points without counting chinese h1. am i good or am i good? haha. i really hope my geog is an E so i can say i have officially passed all subjects. haha. okays. now children, remember to ask me for 4D number if you want to earn some extra cash. hahhahahaa.

2006-10-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

okays. i have lots to say. but whether all comes out, that's another matter. hee.

first, i miss my 79 people. farewell assembly last thursday, 12 Oct o6. that's the day when we got to know some of our results too. anyway, i really miss you people. can't believe you guys have like graduated and left me here. evil but 79ers, i love you guys!!

next. friday the 13 is totally jinxed. for me. like hello. i had greenie that day but contemplated to skip. didn't in the end. i am such a slave to my cca. haha. anyways, so shihan jason and i hung the banner. after that, supposed to shift the table for open house. waited for 2.30 to come so that we can move the table. slacked and folded grasshoppers in d101. finally, we slacked too much and only got the table shifted at 3.30. shihan and i were the only ones moving because the rest took so long to come that by the time they arrived, the table also happened to reach it's destination. oh wells. left school around 4 and when to SLF building to collect some stuff. here, i started to become unlucky.

took a bus to raffles town club and was supposed to take 132. but i took 156 instead because somehow i thought it goes there. after a stop, it just feels so wrong that i dropped and walked back a bus stop to take 132. finally after real long, 132 came and it took me 5 stops this time round to realise i'm heading the in wrong direction. dropped again and went across to wait for my bus. while crossing, 132 left me. dang. so i waited real long for the bus again. and i finally reached SLF one hour after i left school. and guess what? it was only supposed to be a 20min trip. how suay am i? anyway, i also realised that 156 DOES go there but it takes a much longer journey. see? suay suay suay!

14 Oct o6 is open house. not too bad. not too good. just normal i guess. was in school the whole day and did nothing but fold grasshopper and walked around the school. and i missed all 3 band performances, 2 dance performances and 2 cheerleading performances. why? because at those timeslot, i happen to be busy. like being called by teachers to do stuff, or teaching grasshopper folding or even, having my lunch break outside school. isn't that bad? i am really upset. i wanted so much to see the band performance. oh wells. no such luck.

and i love greenie more and more. it's a sai kang cca. a little similiar to guides. and i love it. guess i am a sai kang person. haha. i enjoy nothing more than doing sai kang. haha.

went with dad to buy new phone that night. the salesman looks vaguely familiar but i can't seem to remember where i met him before. cheryl said any cute guy is familiar lah. eh. i tell you ah. no loh. i remember where already okay.

at first i thought he looked a little like sh's friend, aaron. he does resemble aaron a little. then i thought hard. like real hard. because i know i have seen that pair of eyes before and it's not aaron's. that pair of eyes are really pretty with long eyelashes. i don't recall aaron with these eyes. i thought through all the possibilites of me meeting guys because the chances are low. then, something struck me. and i got it. it's zijie. the venture from sr. he has beautiful eyes with long lashes. the type girls will die to have. yes. it's zijie. hahaha. that pair of eyes and lashes, i will never forget. i remember the many times we gush over his pretty eyes and lashes. yes. heee. i love the eyes!! :D

results up in the next post. heee.

2006-10-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

what other random stuff do i have to say? hmm.

okays. typing with long nails is hard. either that or because i've been away from udee for way too long.

next. i want to cut me hair but i'm not given permission to! ahh! this weather is killing me!

also. i am trying to be a couch potato tomorrow and i just realised that tomorrow is workout day too. how?

then. town is no fun.

finally. i am so addicted to one piece that i am thinking of buying another copy tomorrow which will lead to many more copies this week. dang. good thing the only comic shop nearby only sells the lastest book and not suitable for outdated readers like me. heng ah.

---end of randomness---

2006-10-09T20:29:00.000+08:00

it's time.
it's time.
it's time to start losing fats.

target:
o1. 45kg
o2. flat tummy
o3. i'll be happy if i reach either target

plan:
o1. go jogging tomorrow
o2. possibly swimming too if i can make it
o3. i want to gym tomorrow too
o4. do at least 50 sit-ups/crunches every night before sleeping

more feasible plan:
o1. stop going to macs
o2. no more kfc
o3. bk, ljs and yoshi too
o4. prata is out, except for the date with nex which is still in the process of deciding
o5. no chips
o6. stay away from coke, pepsi, 7-up, sprite, carbonated water in general

finally:
o1. i really hope i achieve at least a little something
o2. fats is good for you
o3. i love me tummy!!

=D

2006-10-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

okays. the biggest issue nowadays is the big HAZE! right. guess what? i didn't even know it was hazy until serene complained on like tuesday or something like that. hah. i am like seriously outdated. and maybe blind? as proven for my maths paper. anyways, i shall make some comments on it. haha.

basically, the haze has big impacts on our health and the environment. i don't understand how come they have to burn the trees just to clear the land? as an economist, i actually understand but i just cannot take the whole situation as a geographer (correct term?). in econs, this is known as profit maximisation in the short run (or long run? i think is short) and negative externality in production. it's bad! okays.

also, i can't help but always think that my glasses are dirty because it's so blur. kinda stupid but can't be helped. haha.

however, on the brighter side, it's not so bad to see haze around because it can be kinda pretty. like how everything is blur and and we don't have to see things clearly. life is sad when we have to see things clearly, even the bad stuff. yah. with the haze, it seems like a veil that blocks our view. when our view is obstructed, things seem to look more beautiful. yah.

((:

2006-10-07T20:54:00.000+08:00

i am finally done with my promos and am i glad that it's over? maybe. i somehow don't really feel excited or what. guess i have gone through the phrase of being weirdly happy after exams everytime. hmm. i am more confident of doing well this time as compared to last year. i think the state of mind you are in really affects. like last year i believed in repeating and guess what? i did. this time round, i believe i am able to do okay well. therefore, this time i am so going to do well. hoping to get the results of:

econs : D (maybe C? hope hope hope)

geog : E (hoping a D if i didnt screw up my human as badly as i thought)

chinese : E (i was aiming for a C but it seems possibly impossible. my section 1 was kinda bad and paper 1 ain't fanstatic at all)

gp: C (please please please. i believed my essay and aq is way better this time. like i did know how to do it. unlike in the past. must admit karen is good.)

chinese h1 : A (it has to be an A. no way man if i get a B or worse, a C. i will want to die. but then again, the paper was quite hard. dang.)

maths : E? (i basically screwed it up. by differentiating when they asked to integrate. tell me i am blind. tell me! that's 4 marks. and the last 3 questions are killer and they are worth almost 20 or more marks. hoping to get like 6 marks for those 3. and there are only 10 questions and the whole paper is 50 marks. how screwed am i? very. especially after i realised after the paper that it's integration not differentiation. i could have gotten it right man! pissed i am. at myself. urgh.)

summary of promos. hoping to get maybe 40points? not sure of how they count but hoping of getting it. i need 35 to promote. it's always better to aim higher. haha.

2006-09-23T16:51:00.000+08:00

i can do silly things for an acquaintance. and it's only a 2 hour acquaintance. haha. once in my lifetime only. okay fine. twice. call me silly but i really admire and respect this acquaintance. always.

out.

2006-09-23T16:24:00.000+08:00

taking a little break from mugging now. i have completed log and functions. actually, should be i gave up on functions. it's worse than greek lah. it's practically alien language! haha. xueping is so going to puke blood tomorrow when she tries to teach me. sorry cus!

okays. anyway, decided to write this now because i just saw something amelia wrote on my first set of maths notes. it's dated 09Jan06. then, i came upon realisation that i have known her for a really long tun. till today, it's been 8 months and 20 days. like wow. it's approximately 260 days already. wow. i have sorta lost contact with ame but not with jj and cherylin. good thing. for the past 260 days, we have been meeting up on a weekly basis. seeing each other a lot especially jj cos he is just a class apart. like wow. nothing can express my love for these people. love them too much!

just yesterday karen wanted us to thank someone during civics. i couldn't think of anyone but my H2 chinny people. didn't thank them though, but thanked all my friends instead. a very generic answer. haha. after reflecting, i realised that i should have thanked jj and cherylin, cos they are so important to me. i might no be as important to them but they are really important to me. so i'm going to take this chance now to say,"thanks cheryl and jj. thank you for all the wednesdays. thank you! love you guys to the sun and hope to come back in one piece! there might not be anymore wednesday meetings next year but i still hope we can meet up on a weekly basis."
(:

and BEV, no matter what, you remain in my heart. <3!

2006-09-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

i have a dirty little secret, and guess what? i'm not going to tell you. jjaa.
((:

alrights people. i'm like in post exam mode already. haha. just because i finished one chinny paper. haha. i am really enjoying myself, which is really bad for health, studies and finances. haha. i bought 3 comics in 3 days. like hellos. haha. oh wells.

and yes breakfast club! i can't wait for monday to come. good food good food good food. yays! maybe we can miami vice after that. hmm. a happy serene leads to a happy serene leads to a maybe will be happy jonadab. haha. but one thing for sure, an emo jonadab leads to an emo serene lead to an emo serene. we should rename as emo breakfast club instead. haha.

what else? serene loves her comics a lot so for her big day in october, do get her comics. you are welcome to refer to the receptionist to get more details. by the way, the receptionist is serene. oh. and if you are thinking of getting serene something that is blue and round, do consider again. because serene is complaining that her room is so blue and round that even her mom buys her mooncakes in that character. oh wells. the main part should be, if you are even getting serene anything. hahaa.

one last thing. i love wei xiao. and my dongy. hahaaaa. love love love. and graceh, you are allowed to have some feelings for him too. hmm. as for mich, okay lah. permission granted cos we are good partners. hahaaa.

okays. off to my tv! bye!

2006-09-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

i missed you so.

2006-09-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

ohohs. i can'tseemtogetyououtofmymindagain. likeneverableto. dang. iamthinkingwayyyytooomuchhh.

2006-09-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

okays. i have so much to say during the period that i wasn't online (laziness is the reason). haha.

firstly, i forgot to mention the fact that i thoroughly enjoyed the forbidden city towards the end cos i can connect with the characters and feel for them. the loneliness and helplessness. yah. okays. i finally said it. yays!

secondly, wow. i realised i know a lot junjies. as in a lot! like 5? not a lot? who dares say that man! haha. okays. some kinda monologue (i stress yet again, i can't spell). anyway, back to the topic. isn't 5 a lot? and the best part is, 4 of them were from my primary school years. now now, ain't that shocking? haha. okays. here comes the junjie list. ong junjie, kelvin soh junjie, ng chunkiat, tan junjie and junjie. haha. confession time, i can't remember the surname of the last junjie or even he is called junjie. i think is something kit. but i really cannot recall what kit. yah. can't blame me. he transferred out in P3. yah. one thing i am sure though, i can still remember how he looks like. he's cute. haha. that's why. opps. heehee. okays. so except tan junjie, the rest are from kbps. as for jj, he's from sa. yeah.
how come parents my era, like to call their sons junjie? it's a question worth giving a thought. there seems to be a lot of junjies amongst the boys born in the 1980s. hmm. and guess what? i might just want to call my son junjie too! haha. cos by the time (should i ever) i give birth, there shouldn't be that many, or even any, junjies around. hee. why? the simple logic of not wanting to name their sons like everyone else's or like their friends' name. ((:
so my son (should i have any) shall be named (hopefully) andrew ____ junjie. nice one. haha. can't believe i'm going with such an old-fashioned chinese name. haha. actually right, josiah is a nice name too. but of cos, andrew is of a higher and better standard. but things are hard to say years down the road. =D

thirdly, we went for learning journey on wednesday. nothing much to mention about. but it is kinda fun cos we get to see the miniature structure of buildings and marina area. hey ning! i saw your house! i could even point out the block but i forgot the floor. so no luck in locating the actual unit. yeah. that's about it.

fourthly, my chinese test is like..urgh! haha. everyone was stressed on thursday cos they had spa and i, my chinese test. horrible. i studied throughout econs tutorial and lecture (lecture cos i forgot to study about the characters). wasted. i hate missing econs. especially tutorials cos ms hon rocks. anyway, it didn't turn out good. the old lady twisted and mixed everything up and asked in such a not obvious way that we have to think of what to use to answer. and the best part was, the things i studied didn't really come out. dang. i spotted the wrong parts. ahh. okay fine. i picked the easiest and shortest parts to study for. oh wells. it's only a test. a stepping stone in studying for promos. think positive. (:

fifthly, chinese excursion on friday!! yays. went to the nonya place. woohoo. club harah to the rescue. haha. actually is, club harah to the pigging. haha. we ate like everything they gave us on the table and even koped food from the next table. haha. we had so much fun eating and crapping and laughing lah. haha. now we can be called Fat RSTs. haha. why? cos we have felicia, roxanne, serene, serene, sally and terrena. haha. and we ate damn a lot. haha. fun fun fun!

sixthly, went back for gp on saturday. wow. woke up at 7 by serene's sms. supposed to be in school by 8. i rock right. haha. made it in time for breakfast still cos parents sent me to school. hee. had to do a mock comprehension before peer-marking. it was horrible. i just wasn't functioning. oh wells. it's over. wanted to go to macs and study but decided to come home and sleep first before going over. supposed to wake up at 4.30 but decided to go back to sleep and only woke up at 7. wow. so much for wanting to try and study. haha.

seventhly, today, i tried to go to macs and study again. went this time round but came back pretty fast cos my beloved orange marker LEAKED! like i have no idea how did the cap come off. but i am pissed. my pencil case got soaked, some pens stained, jacket stained, econs notes stained and my pretty colourful bag stained too!! ahh!! like damn sad. especially my pencil case. my pretty pencil case. now the purple jesus word is partially orange. dang.

eighthly, i want to say i love my dar! haha. dar is always so cute lah. wishing me happy birthday beforehand. last year was a month earlier, then a few days after my 17th birthday, he wished me for my 18th. then on tuesday again. haha. say he scared later he forget to wish me. haha. i rather he focus on studying for prelims and a's man. haha. oh. and i saw him the other day. wednesday i think. yah. was with mellie and merv at macs and before seeing mellie board the bus and went off with merv. think dar dropped from the 76 mellie boarded. anyway, didn't manage to talk to him other than saying hi cos with merv lah. so weird to throw merv alone and go up to dar and start talking right? like so rude. oh wells. haha. one more thing. i seem to have become better/good friends with merv already. like i saw him 3 times in a week? wow. haha. mellie, i can only say you are one lucky girl to have found him. hahaa.

okays. now i should end my nagging and crapping and blogging. haha. byebye!!

2006-09-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

guess what? i missed you a lot today. a lot.

2006-09-12T20:58:00.000+08:00

hellos!! i went for the FORBIDDEN CITY yesterday!! ahh!! it rocks my socks. haha. gosh. i love it alrights. like totally.

my second time watching it and it only made memories fonder and closer to the heart. this time round, i got one of the "best" seats which happens to be on the fourth floor and by the side. it's called restricted view, so i can only see half the stage, and that's after bending over the railing. oh wells, at least i managed to discover some new theatre stuff. like i can see the whole orchestra and their conductor, i can see the people in charge of the sound, and of cos, my favourite lighting technicians! haha. they are totally great. it's a very different feeling observing all these stuff as compared to watching the play proper. it's also a good thing that i've watched it before so i can afford to miss half of the play and only listen to the singing. love the songs. they are so captivating. i have to say this,"well done dick. it's a beautiful job, cleverly done." now, that line sounds weird but heck it. it's not a gp essay or exam. haha.

out of curiousity, jj and i went to suntec city to take a look at the security because of the IMF meeting. wow. i tell you, they planted really beautiful sunflowers and some purplish flower by the side of the road and it's really beautiful. it doesn't feel like the way to suntec at all. and the security is really tight, with soldiers(?) holding snipers(i think so. is that what they are called?) walking around within the fenced up area. wow. totally cool. even the security at city hall mrt is tightened. you guys should go and take a look if you are free. especially you poly people and a'level people whose prelims are ending soon. it might be a once in a life time scene. hee.

okays. anything else to add? not for the time being i guess. except one fact, econs rock! haha. we are so into econs now that we speak the economic language in all classes. haha. power eh.
((:

2006-09-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

serene is not a happy girl when someone make a comment her beloved polka dots!! not happy!!

what is wrong with ST? what is wrong with it!! how can they do such a thing? putting the results of a poll on the cool and uncool uniforms on a national paper, how can they?

i think this is humiliating, to be named the top on the list of uncool uniforms. don't they ever spare a thought for others? come on. ask anyone who has worn that uniform before and they will tell you they love it. ST did clarify by saying that 84.5% (i think) of the girls love the uniform, which is good. but still. do we have to care whether our uniform is uncool in others' eyes? seriously, i am so proud of my polka dots that i would do anything to wear that now, and not that set of pretty unifrom from sa.

then again, i tried to look on the brighter side. polka dots are our trademark and we stand out because of it. only st margs girls will understand the pride of being dressed in polka dots and learn to love the history behind the uniform, behind the school. only st margs girls have the right to be dressed in polka dots and never be a fashion faux pas. only st margs girls are able to identify each other through the love of polka dots. only st margs girls have this priority. only st margs, only polka dots.

here's an extract from my chabo's post.

It's not how the uniform looks. It's how you feel when you put it on. Those polka dots are what binds generations of St Margs girls together. Yes, it may look ugly and disgusting but those are what make you stand out from others. Because after you leave the school, and you meet another St Margs girl, the first thing you would talk about is wearing the uniform and all it's conveniences(and inconveniences of course). Surviving 4 years(or 5 for some. maybe less for others.) in that uniform is somewhat like NS. You have something in common to talk about. It's an identity and it's part of the St Margaret's identity.

Yes I Know, it's not the best thing to camoflage in when you're walking down Orchard Road but when you're in a whole bunch of polka dots(ie in school). the conveniences of the unifrom are uncountable. Just to name a few:
1) It's nice and cooling! Need i say mroe people?
2) You have a fan attached to your unifrom. (the tie lah! though it's fake)
3) Hands up to those of you who take about 10 seconds to put it on in the mornings!
4) It is how easy to change out of. Especially in class. Right 4/5 '05? ;)
5) People don't ask you which convent you're from(sorry IJ girls.)
6) Though this may never happen again, but during first three months, your ex-schoolmates are easy to spot.

What more can I say? It's the school spirit that counts, not the school uniform. Never judge a book by it's cover.

2006-08-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

know what? you are the right type. the exact right type. just that you don't happen to be the right one. dang.

2006-08-20T20:32:00.000+08:00

i am kinda feeling wrong now. had a talk with serene and priceless over the week and lots of things came out, and none of them good. which is bad. so now i view you as a different person and this isn't going well with me.
_______________

had talks with shihan over the week too and once again, i have learnt to view you in another light. which is really bad cos i don't want things to turn out like that. why do these things have to happen twice a week?
_______________

and i realised that we have been drifting apart. like yah. i think you are ignoring because of her. this isn't going well with me too. why? tell me why? i might have done something to her but if it will cause our relationship to take such a turn, i can only say i am just not as worthy in your eyes compared to her. and this isn't making me feeling really good. dang.
_______________

all in all. i suck in relationship issues and guess what? i don't think i can do anything to revive it. oh wells.

2006-08-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

dear ___________

dear _____________,
like a dream you showed up,
turning my life into a fairytale.
like air you entered me,
becoming my source of life.
like vapour you disappeared,
leaving me in pain, hopeless.

dear _____________,
for the times spent,
for the feelings felt,
for the pain inflicted,
for the lessons learnt,
i thank you.

dear _____________,
truth is,
never did i forget,
never will i give up,
forever i,
_____________.

2006-08-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

untitled

my heart hangs in mid air,
like a bird flying, aimlessly.
confusion clouds my mind,
wondering which step to take.

there is no ned to this trouble,
nor can a beginning be placed.
slowly it creeps under the skin,
and makes my breathe.

distance is the way out,
but how?
only thing i fully understand,
i'm too lost in you.

2006-08-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh. i just realised that jeffery deaver is jeffery and not jeffrey. oh man. hope i got jeffrey archer right and he's not a jeffery. they are so close lah. i won't have figured it out if i didn't stare at the author. oh gosh.

2006-08-08T21:05:00.000+08:00

i love the noise of seventh month dinner. it's a very familiar noise. when i was younger, i didn't learn to appreciate it. but nowm i lie it. i really feel myself getting old. hah. the olden tradition is making me high. haha. that sounds wrong.

i'm lovin it. bahlahbahbahbah.

2006-08-08T20:27:00.000+08:00

i miss the times we used to spend together. i think i must be mad to want to stay away from you. but i can't help but distance myself, for one simple reason stupid reason of just keeping a distance from you. hah. someone tell me i'm an idiot.

i'm missing you terribly now. terribly.

2006-08-08T20:16:00.000+08:00

i'm amazed at the baby language that all of us once know. things like kaka, gaigai, pompom, mummum, etc. haha. words that come in doubles and simple. where they really come from, we don't know. okays. maybe some dialect or even hokkien just that i never bothered to check it out.

baby jibberish is also known by other babies but not to those who have grown up and unaccustomed to baby language anymore. we will never go back to those days when we know baby jibberish, or be innocent like the past, ever again.

this is kinda sad aye. kinda really sad. oh wells.

people, grow up! face the cold hard truth stuck in your face! ahh! i'm going mad. hahahaa.

2006-08-08T18:40:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last looked at your features so closely.

they are beautiful, really.

have i ever mentioned that i like your teeth the best? they are so cute.

for those who know me well enough, you should know that i have an obession for teeth right? like i tend to look at a person's teeth and determine it's beauty before really determining other parts. weird aye.

beautiful teeth.

2006-08-07T22:42:00.000+08:00

why do i have to put up with you immature fools?! why?!

you fools who don't think at all. who think you are great and sensitive when you are not at all. who think you are very funny and instead, it's the opposite.

i just don't get it! i don't!

nothing in life seem to have made you more mature aye. at least not immature enough to hate or dislike someone cos she is anti social and stuff. come on, she just don't click with the class. what's your fucking problem?

ugh! just f*off everyone. just F*OFF!

2006-08-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

i am very pissed with my class. and that's all i know now. they are really pissing me off with their boh chup attitude with the skit. like fuck off people. we don't have a choice. we are so going to screw it up. and we are going to get into trouble aint we? hah. stupid ignorant fools. stop being so unprofessional!!

f*off.

2006-08-06T21:45:00.000+08:00

and i'm keeping silent, all these while.
and i'm going to stay this way, all my life.
and you will never get to know anything, out from me.

ever!

2006-08-04T19:04:00.000+08:00

watched lake house today. really good. love it. love the scenes, the house, the actor, the actress, the way it was filmed, everything.

cried like an idiot again, as usual. haha. but for proper reasons this time and not stuff that's not common or normal. haha. you will get me if you get me. haha.

i've been wasting time in school these 2 days. i had a 4 hours break yesterday, technically 6 cos karen on course but had to do work, so not considered. and i only have GP today. 1 hour. supposed to have maths but didn't go. couldn't be bothered. didn't bring my notes too. not compulsory anyway.

borrowed another book by jeffrey deanver. love it. i think jeffreys are good. like jeffrey archer and jeffrey deanver and jeffrey huang(?!). hee. not bad. but the only jeffrey i know is my cousin and he ain't outstanding. oh wells.

and carpenters tools came to school today and performed. love them. they sang a medley of everlasting love and that thing you do. haha. the whole arts fac stood up and danced and clapped along. haha. arts fac rock. hee. the lead male singer, carl, sang tong hua too. very cool. cos they are all americans. all of us were so high. cos he is only 19, cute and can sing well. heehee. he even dedicated the song to the arts fac cos we are so supportive and funky. woohoo! check them out at http://www.carpenterstools.blogspot.com cool people. funky.

and to this is to nex. this is a figurative question and i placed you as a victim so you'll relate better. and i didn't do anything, yeah.
"what if one day, i betray your trust and made use of you, what would you do?"
nex, you are like the only one i can play this game with. help me aye. thanks (:

2006-08-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

thank you for the times we shared.

thank you for teaching me what love isn't supposed to be.

and i really thank you for forcing me to learn and grow up. we can't stand stagnant forever. and we won't. i won't.

once again, thank you very much.

2006-08-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

it's like a burden off my back. a very heavy one. and i am feeling good already. in just 2 days, 24 hours, i made 2 major decisions toquitandtoletgo. and i won't regret them. i am a much happier person now than i used to be 24 hours ago.
(:

on the brighter side, i am really enjoying my life now. and i really love jj and cherylin! they make up 90% of my jc life. or maybe even more. i have no idea how to measure. thank you dears for making jc life so much more endurable.
(:

lastly, it's time to start setting my mind on mugging. and mug is what i shall do. hurhur. but i really don't feel like studying for maths eh. hee. oh wells. jiayou. fight! by the way, i got 28points for CT. yays! it's like twice or more than my last exam! woohoo! i am so proud of me. you should be too. heehee.
((:

ah! forgot to say this. i love wei xiao pasta! and graceh, thanks to you i am hooked onto it. urgh! hahaa. dong liang is so cute! opps. heehee.
((:

2006-08-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

and today shall be the day that i am going to let you out of my life for good.

no more days worrying about you.
no more smses asking if you are okay.
no more trips just to see you.
no more minutes wondering whatever happened to you.
no more tears because of you. bythewayicriedthricecosofyou.

it's all over. goodbye. and good night.

2006-07-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

i have so much to say. and yet, i don't want to say. no use saying things that will leave behind a memory where i can refer to, and it's not a good one. just say, it gonna do with my class and a lot of people. yah. if i remember whatever happened days/years down the road, then i'll remember. if not, good.

have good things to say too. but don't feel like saying. hope it remains in my memory for good. okays. hint to myself years down the road, it's about the englisch boys. okays. hee. laziness rule me.

what else? all the not so good stuff, i'll leave it out lah. don't bother trying to remember and piss myself off.

nick of the day: not likeable at all.

2006-07-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Tired yet happy. soccer

Fed-up yet can't be bothered. A7

Loves yet hates. chinese lit

I WANT TO SLEEP AND FORGET EVERYTHING!

2006-07-19T21:36:00.000+08:00

Well well well, I am at a lost for words. Really happy for all the loved ones. Cheryl got AAB for Common Test and JJ got BE(?). Not bad aye. He's hoping that his E will be a D cos it's only a difference of 0.5 marks. I am so proud of them!

((:

2006-07-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

wow. i did a spot the fake smile test and i got 15 out of 20. not bad yah. haha. i do seem to exceed in this aspect well. haha. to do the test, click here. yups yup. i kinda like it. you might need to wait for the videos to load. haha. think i am hooked onto doing the tests. haha.
((:

2006-07-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

One more thing. Last one. I confirm.

I am VERY SAD that FRANCE LOST. Oh wells.

And it's time to say goodbye to our young and stupid days. The old and stupid days await our paths.

Sigh. I feel really old. This is bad yah. Cos I am supposed to be at the age of 18 where things are still supposed to be happy and carefree but I am not. We are not. We are forced to grow up, to mature, to change and to distance ourselves from the past, a lot. I don't really enjoy this change but I am living comfortably with it. Am I? Hmm.

2006-07-17T00:46:00.000+08:00

Went out with cousins just now to celebrate Wynny's 16th birthday. Went back to SASA. All the good memories came gushing back into my head. Wynny thinks so too. We really miss working there. The nice smells, the pretty colours, the stupid nail polishes and even suisse program is making us miss the days so much.

She said that there's a chance of them asking us back to help out in December. I hope it comes through. I might even give up the chance to go TW for it. I mean it. I hope it comes true. Haha. Seems like I have quite a bit of wishes. Haha.

Went for the Gospel Rally at Bethesdal Hall on friday night. It got me thinking. Thinking back on Life Concert. Should I? Hmm. I still have a lot of thinking to do before making a decision, even though I think it won't come true. I just have way too many doubts.

And I think my flu is back. Freak it. My nose is like going to drip any minute. Argh! The flu is making my all sad and depressed. Know how bad it is? Very! Argh!

((: Love all you people.

2006-07-17T00:39:00.000+08:00

I am happy for Cheryl. Her CT told her that she got the highest for all 3 subjects in her class, namely Biology, Mathematics and Chemistry. I am so happy for her. My Cheryl, well done.

As for JJ, till now i only know he got a C for Chemistry. Was happy until we told him Cheryl got an A. Oh man. He seems rather disturbed by that fact. Freak it. Now, we don't dare to tell him about Cheryl topping all the subjects. How? I saw him on friday morning and he looked so depressed. I am worried. Like really. Ms Ho said if he didn't get CCD, he will lose his post in band. How can it be? And now that he thinks his Maths and Geog is gone, oh nos. I am really worried. Hope nothing happens to him. Hope he can keep his post. I really hope so.

Then again, I think my Common Test is kinda crappy. Haha. Like Geog is totally unbelievable. It doesn't matter if I watched the Finals or not. It will turn out as crappy. Freak it. And chinny is rubbish. Haha. 25 marks question and all I did was to crap a little stuff. If i can get 5 marks for that question, I will seriously be very happy. Only hope on Econs now. Hope I can get at least a C. Please. Pretty please.

Results should be all out by this week. Hope i pass all. Even a S for Geog will make me happy. Anything but a U for Geog. And a E for chinny is enough. It'll be enough. I really hope for it.

2006-07-09T00:22:00.000+08:00

Recently, I just realised the importance of my fellow J1 seniors to me. Namely, JJ and Cheryl. I still remember how I used to think Cheryl is actually Cherylin. Haha. What a joke. Now, that 2 are my so-called pillars of strength, where we encourage each other, knowing what the other is going through. I LOVE YOU GUYS! See you in J2 2007!

Then, I am suddenly reminded of Johnny, my fellow SASa. Haha. Not close to him as he seldom speak and mingle with the newbies. I still remember one of the few sentences we exchanged.

Johnny: So, you normal acad or normal tech?
Serene, feeling thumped: Huh? Why? I look so young?
Johnny: Huh? No lah.
Serene: Okay. I am J1 at SAJC. (or something like that)
Johnny: Huh? What poly?
Serene: St. Andrew's Junior College.
Johnny: Oh. I thought some poly. I am year 1 at...
Serene: Sorry? (at that point of time, i thought he said some ITE)
Johnny: ..... (I still don't get it)
Finally, Johnny: NYP.
Serene: Oh. NYP. Nanyang Poly.
Johnny: Yah.

Haha. I look so young and normal eh. Haha. People special student eh. Hahahaha. Totally special. Haha.

During TeenGames, we were talking and reached the topic on PSLE grades. Guess what? At that point, no one was like damn shocked at 250. Haha. Like finally. They were all like 264, 250, 246, 242 and i think near 240. Haha. For once, I didn't feel so abnormal. Haha. The highest average arregate i've seen. Yayers!

2006-07-02T02:22:00.000+08:00

like what i always say (feel about), life never comes back once its gone by. no u-turn, no rewind, no nothing.

everything is now. and it will be then. soon, it's history.

i am trying to keep the memories of this match as close to my heart as possible, and hope i won't forget it. it's a pity that i don't have a tape recorder or else i can record it down for future references.

this match will never be back again. the people too. i kinda miss the english already. we won't see the same people in 2010 again, but let's hope the memory stay deeply etched in our minds okay. memories when we were 18, young and stupid.

love you graceh.

2006-07-02T02:08:00.000+08:00

i have now cooled down after watching the match between england and portugal.

it was a really good fight put up by the english, my loves. i applaud them. even though the so called "curse" on penalties is still on them, they did really well. not everyone can have a chance to be so close to the semis of world cup. and no one expected things to go so wrong for them today. like becks being injured and rooney sent off. if they stayed on, we could have won. i am not gonna comment on crouch's performance but i can only say i am very disappointed. we can blame no one for today's results. in fact, after some thinking, i feel that this game seems to be kinda fair. God has everything planned out hasnt he? just when everyone thinks that portugal might lose due to the loss of 2 key players, deco and costinha, 2 key players from england got "sent off". this equalises everything isnt it, even though it can be a little unfair to the english as they weren't prepared for it.

still, i think this game wasn't too bad and the english did prove the critics wrong in the fact that they can play a game like this, defending strong and keeping the goal net free of balls till the shoot out. but by defending, i feel that they have left out a little of the attacking part. overall, it was good. well done guys! i am so proud of you!

(:

2006-06-27T23:41:00.000+08:00

one last post, i promise.

all the best for blocks and common test!

love you people!
((:

2006-06-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

what else to say? hmm.

i had teengames last week and the basketball girls lost all 4 matched while we the captain's ball people lost 3 won 1. haha. so embarrassing lah. but we stress totally, we are soccer girls! haha.

i think we bonded over the games and i had a lot of fun. i think they did too. haha. nicole and i got even closer and did really stupid stuff like buying jacknjill to dig for the handphone straps. haha. that was fun!

and when i finally saw nicolette today, i told her about the jacknjill thing and guess what? she said she bought them too! haha. so one fine day the2 nic ngs and i can go jacknjill shopping and dig! haha.

if anyone of you bought jacknjill and got the handphone strap, please be nice and give me if it is either germany portugal or england okays. cos all three of us wants the respective countries straps but dont seem to have the luck. thanks!

(:

2006-06-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

ohs. more stuff coming up! heehee.

was waiting for my bus at the bus stop just now when i saw someone cross the road. she looks like shawna so i stared at her and tried to figure out if it's really her. that person seem to be looking at me so i broke the gaze and looked around before staring at her again. haha. the closer she gets, the more awkward i got but i really wanted to make sure if she's shawna. haha.

then...i smiled at her. and she smiled back! haha. she took down her headphones and we started laughing. hahaaa. after like confirming she really is shawna i told her about the staring thing and guess what? she staring at me all the time too to check if it's me. haha. like so funny. haha.

yups yup. thought that's kinda cute so i blogged. heehee.

2006-06-27T19:04:00.000+08:00

it's been like WOW long since i last blogged. haha. say 13 days to be accurate. haha. i rock man. haha. havent been coming online for some time, or only for the sake of my beloved world cup. haha.

okays. first up, i so have the urge yesterday that i went to watch a movie. ohohs. this is like so wrong lah! haha. sorli sorli. heehee. and guess what show it was? haha. you got it! haha. acutally, no. it is just my luck! woohoo. love it baby. like i so love it. heehee. it's so nice, sweet, comical, loving and well, it rocks. haha. i dont mind watching it again, you know. heehee. of cos my first choice is not just my luck but i dont have a choice. haha. they only have cars, garfield, omen, scary movie and just my luck. and it also happens to be the one that is showing next. haha. so might as well, even though i was hoping to catch the junnie show. haha.

anyways, the show is like seriously lucky. haha. i was so bored while waiting for time to pass before admittance to the theatre that i went up and down just to catch if they are admitting. haha. then when i entered, i was the only one there despite it being 1230 and the show is supposed to start at 1245. i kinda freaked out though i was expecting this turnout. haha. i looked for my seat and found it like really far behind so i took matters into my hands and sat somewhere that looked nice. heehee. the whole place was so quiet that i am like totally sure i'llbe watching the whole movie by myself and i freaked out. tried to read about davie darling to distract myself from the eeriness. haha. you can just imagine how glad i was when they decided to play some music. haha.

and finally, when the advertisements started, i was feeling so good, except for the fact that they had to show lady in the water who is kinda a pyschological show. once again i was a little freaked until the point where i saw people coming in. gosh. i felt alive!! haha. 4 students came in followed by a guy. i thought they were together but apparently not. the guy stood like right in front to watch the whole ad of lady in the water before coming to the back and look for his seat. like how weird. and the next thing you know, he stopped at the seat beside me and i looked up in shock. haha. i think i startled him cos he looked back in shock too! haha. he settled down and i was like thinking whether i should move a seat down or not. haha. like how lucky i can get to have a guy sit beside me, which is his correct seat, when i just anyhow picked a seat and there are like so many other seats in the whole theatre. well, as the title goes, just my luck. haha.

2006-06-14T23:54:00.001+08:00

i changed my skin.

to adi: you might have seen another skin. haha. i changed again.

people, i love changing blogskins. give me the job man.

((:

p.s. i love both my dearest and dar! but i love my dearest more.heehe.

2006-06-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

on my way home from macs just now, i was thinking. doing some really serious thinking.

i think i have grown up a lot over the past year. my thinking changed, the way i act changed and the way i deal with relationships changed. of cos, there will be people like you who will say i am still as kiddish as ever. i don't deny that cos i really tend to be kiddish most of the time.

however, i feel a change in me. do you? maybe i tend to feel this way cos those that i am in contact with most of the time now are younger. it may only be a year difference but to me, it felt like a whole lot of difference. like they don't catch up with my thoughts. i think deeper than them. is this good or bad, i have no idea. but the idea of me being all grown up now irks me and yet, pleases me at the same time.

being grown up means more responsibility and maturity. it's not a very good thing yeah. we have to be independent now. but the fact that i can be independent pleases me. i am just contradicting my own thoughts, as always.

oh wells. i like what i am now. and hope to remain the same. but it's impossible yeah. hmm.

2006-06-11T00:26:00.000+08:00

i was bathing just now when i suddenly realised,"wow, it's world cup again."okays. i hear people calling me slow, but hey, it's just that i thought of something. the last time world cup came, it was in 2002 and that's just when i knew pk, yJ and "sis". yeah. wow. it's been 4 years. 4 years of on and off friendship and we still keep in contact. i am surprised. and i cannot believe it's been 4 years. i think, it's actually a little more than 4 years. wow.

my dear friends, 4 years is not very long, nor is it very short. it's enough to put a child through a secondary education. thanks for being there for me this 4 years. hope to be able to say this again the next world cup. love you guys.
(:

2006-06-08T21:11:00.000+08:00

i just want to say,"I LOVE MY DAR!! thanks for all the care you showered upon me and of cos, love."

heehee.

2006-06-05T17:00:00.000+08:00

philharmonic winds was so good. through out the first half of the performance, i am ashamed to say that i fell asleep a few times as the pieces they played were so smoothing and peaceful that i couldnt resist the temptation to take a nap. i tried really hard to keep my eyes open but somehow, i will just die halfway. i was really tired. really tired. oh wells.

the second half of the performance totally blew me away. it was so captivating, especially the first piece. i loved it so much. it was an emotional experience for me. i could feel the piece with all my heart and soul. i can only say, it's a great piece of composition. the second piece was like weird cos i really think the choir part was so out of place. nonetheless, it was a nice piece as it had so many different components involved. the third piece was what grace called, a piece that finally has a main melody. haha. it was a rather exciting piece but it can be boring at times as it is kinda predictable.

overall, i think phil winds rocks and i cannot wait to hear them play again. but hopefully, they can play the way they did in the national library cos they were so cheerful then.
((:

2006-06-04T21:47:00.000+08:00

hahahahahahahaa. this is so fun lah. this stupid guy added me in msn cos i was from aquila. and he stupidly didnt know who i am or where i am from. so we started like chatting. then he wanted me to guess which school he's from and i knew beforehand cos i saw him in jon's msn before.

so i happily played along with him and along the way, he gave hints that were meant to mislead me. oh wells. kids yah. what a kid. haha. and finally, he found his conscience and told me that he have been lying to me for the past who-knows-how-many minutes. haha. wells, i didnt have the heart to tell him i've been playing with him too. heehee. i feel so evil lah. haha. oh wells, stupid boy. haha.

2006-06-02T12:04:00.000+08:00

i wanted to say so much a few days ago. but never managed to blog it out. now, i feel that i have taken another view to that matter, so i don't see a need to say it anymore.

however, i do have one conclusion. there are many sides of man that is waiting for us to discover. will we ever discover them one by one or never to most of them? we will slowly find out. that is if we ever bother to find out.

i am amazed by the many different sides of one person. just one person. kid, i am so disappointed in you, and yet i cannot help but to feel for you. poor boy. and woosh too. seems like i did a thorough character analysis on these 2 with nic and came up with 2 opposite conclusions. hope the conclusion about kid is wrong. i hope, it's wrong.

2006-05-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

that weird feeling is back again.
oh nos.
stop haunting me!!