born serene oh but not old.
nicknamed the old one now.
i stress, i am not old.
i would prefer to be called, mature.

It's not a dream if it came true,
but we exist to dream.
Make a wish,
I'm your faithful genie that doesn't have much patience :)

Designer: lovebites
Image: monatheydidnt
Image Host: Tinypic
Image done in Photoshop CS2

feeling all emo now. somehow i find it really hard to face the fact that we are no longer that close anymore, or even, know each other now. i see it coming, i knew it will eventually turn out this way. but it's really hard.

this kinda thing always happen to be, year after year. it started with a lot, then slowly one by one they left. only few stayed on. everything is a facade. everything. actually, what happened shouldn't affect me, or should i say, it didn't affect me at all. i just want to say something, nag about something, be all emo about something.

life is getting lonelier. good thing about this is i'm quite a loner. i survive well alone, with some occasional visits from those i'm left with. more will come and go. probably more will go then come. but heck. i'll survive.

twenty oh six was filled with fear, anticipation and a little love. twenty oh seven will be lonely. as lonely as it can get. twenty oh seven will be filled with books, notes and studying. mugging shall start on first jan twenty oh seven. that's two days away. i have two more days of fun and soon, i'll be depriving myself of whatever little joy that may come. okay. maybe not all. a weekly screening of hana and an occasional movie will be fulfilling. new cds. more shows coming up. s.h.e, sebas, phantom, etc. i want to fill up my twenty oh seven with hardcore mugging, total commitment to greenie and an artistic recharge.

twenty oh seven. what a year. the bitter nineteen after legal eighteen after sour seventeen after sweet sixteen. wow. that's many years ago. people, i love you and you know who you are.

p.s. i think i am turning to be another mello. agree?
i've been wanting to blog for a long time but i kept on forgetting to do so, or i just don't have the time. anyways, christmas is over! and i didn't do much. nothing special. the only highlight is probably the fact that while the whole world is counting down at places like town or vivo, i was having supper at amk central. haha. what a sad life aye. (:

work is okay, but i'm been overworked for a week. like midnight sales and full shift and morning shifts immediately. i could have collapsed yesterday if wen wasn't nice enough to bring my break forward by a day. then again, it was because stock was coming in today so she couldn't afford to let me off for the day. haha. i slept for like 16hours yesterday, clocking a brand new record of waking up at 7.37pm! yays! haha.

basically, what i've been wanting to say for a long time is that i am so happy, so comfortable with the environment i am now in, that i don't feel like leaving the place at all. even going back to my happy school life is not going to make things any easier. i already miss the funny aunties! my most loved joey! ah! ahzu! my wu nv lao shi! gosh. i'll miss her so. today she just commented that i haven't talked back to her for one whole day. and i asked her if she'll miss me. guess what she said? she told me to call back once a day to talk back to her. haha. she'll miss me so. how can i bear to leave her?! sigh.

once again, i'll thank you guys for being there for the past 2 months.
my managers. sharon tay, jennifer ong and karin chun. only karin stayed the longest but i have known sharon since last year. i'll never forget these 2 because one is so cute and the other, so pretty.

my supervisors. wendy, sharon lee and aloysius. i love wen so much! since i worked for her last year, she seems to be a lot cuter now. and she's real sacarstic at times. but i love her for that. sharon lee is someone who i only got to know for a while but she's nice. like a kid herself. i still can't believe her kid is like a few years old already. and her hubby sure is tall. haha. aloy. funny guy with a funny accent and a funny character. gonna miss him so much! and he loves to suddenly burst out singing. haha. funniest guy ever.

my ba. joey, valerie, cindy, helen, lynn, yenny, selene, sofhie. hope i didn't leave anyone out. they are one funny bunch of aunties and young ladies! without them around, there's always laughter. man. i am so bias but i love joey!!!!! okays. (:

my cashiers. erica and gigi. erica is my gao ren and she's really fantastic. she's the one i was having supper with when the whole world was counting down to christmas. haha. gigi is a teacher figure and she's really knowledgeble with a sense of humour at times. haha.

my partner. katherine aka ah kat aka lao mei. she's weirdly funny. haha. this sounds so bad. haha. i have learnt to enjoy her company over the days. times with her in the store will be greatly missed.

star appearances. jasmine mung and jacqueline, they appear once a week but they are 2 funny ladies. ah mung is so cute. she pampers her daughter like she's s princess and ah jac is one who looks real young. she is 28 but she looks 22. recently, she got her hair done in a punk style and dyed dark red, she looks 19 or 20. it's difficult to even guess that her age, lest the fact that she's married.

guest appearances. xiao wendy from cck and sarah from ps. wendy came for a day and she's really bubbly. made that day really brighter. sarah was with us for about 2 weeks or more. she's one malay girl who really enjoys watching hongkong korean dramas. her family even subscribes to cable channel 55 and 56! haha.

anyways, i really enjoyed the time spent with this group of ladies and i really don't feel like leaving them but i don't have a choice, do i. so, i am going to enjoy the last 4 days with them and hope they will ask me along for the next karaoke outing! haha. it will be one hell of a fun time! yays!

it's the 28th already. people, school is starting for a few of us while most will be working or looking for jobs while waiting for results. there are even a few who will be enjoying orientation. i am so gonna miss everyone! i keep telling myself that i will put my best into studying next year but i don't know where to get the motivation from. but there's no choice for me except that i really have to put my everything into studying for a's. i still hope to meet you guys in uni, especially my poly friends. loves, we have to get into uni together okay. don't leave me there alone. jojo or mich, i do want to get into the same course with you in uni. so wait for me okays. we will do it together. man. talking about the future is making me all sentimental.

just now on the bus i was even thinking of what course to take in uni. film studies/mass comm tops the list but i want to do something that has to do with chinese too. weird but i want to. sociology sounds good too. the other day, mabel from marketing came to help with midnights sales and she told me she took sociology in uni. she's my senior from sa by the way. seems like sociology is a course that suits my criteria because i want to do something that have to do with the masses, the people.

i don't know. i don't know. somehow in singapore there's nothing much you can achieve with the arts. was trying to introduce some esplanade programs to lynn and erica this afternoon and lynn sugggested that i should go into the threatre industry because i seem to have a passion for it. but, how do one survive just working in the threatre. it'll take years before one can have a stable income. like what zunnie said in ylbfb yesterday, no one in brunei dreams about being an artise. guess that's the situation in singapore too.we are too constrained by the standards set by our ancestors, our parents, the society and probably, by the way we are brought up. dang. it'll be good if i weren't born into this society. then again, i might have been in a worse situation like being in a third world country.

i don't want to think so much but i can't. i can't. school life is supposed to be the happiest time in life. i just have to learn to enjoy 2007. may 2008 be better. okays. too much brain juice is being used up in this post. gotta rest my mind now. cya people. love you all.
it's been like years since i last had an idol. okay. a real idol, the way i used to idolise eg. and now, the lucky winner this time round is.....zhezhe!! haha. okays, yuzhe, or more commonly known as tang yuzhe. if you still don't get it, it's okay. he is even more commonly known as nan xuezhang in hana kimi. get it? finally? cool. (:

anyways, as i am saying, it's been years since i had an idol. yes people, i hear you. david and dongliang ain't my idols. they were just passing by at the correct time. =D ever since eg times, i haven't logged onto yahoo jiazu to find pictures of an artise. just to find yuzhe's photos, i looked up and down, left and right, in and out. joined jiazus, went to websites that might contain just a little about yuzhe. doesn't this sound so like the time when i was into eg? (:

my taste in people is always the weirdest thing you guys find about me. you doubt my taste. seriously, my taste is a little weird. hee. but hey! i'll prove to you guys that yuzhe will make it big soon. by then, don't come telling me how cute he is, cos i told you guys first. (:

you guys just don't appreciate my taste yah. shing keeps on telling me that yuzhe is ugly and da dong and zunnie is cuter. she even told me not to discriminate people from brunei. eh babe, i am not okay. i know they are cute, but now, yuzhe is the cutest. heee. (:

anyways, the main focus of this post is to tell you that i am finally back in the scene again! the idolising scene. heehee. and i love yuzhe. he's making me feel the way i felt when i liked wei. yays!

lastly, i bought hana's pictorial book, soundtrack and play mag today! and it's all about ah hua and zunnie and da dong and yuzhe today. tell me i am a happy girl man. ((:

oh. and finally i realised which artise i liked most in my life other than daniel. she happens to be a he in hana. ah hua! she's so cute can. i love her a lot. seems like ever since 2001, i've been liking her. that's a long long time of 5 years. it's called long-term love. haha. unlike wei's which is super sudden and passionate and totally short-term.

p.s. this post is so choppy. guess my mind isn't working the right way now. too high over ah hua. ((:
one thing i forgot to mention.

picked wyn from work on saturday. while waiting for her, i roamed marina square and reached groove nation, a part where there are live performances. caught a perfomance by this group called collide. 3 guys, one bassist, one guitarist/vocals, one main guitarist/back-up vocals. their music is simple. actually, they performed mostly known hits except for the finale piece which is an original composition by the main guitarist. it's titled failing vision. not a bad piece.

anyways, i found the simple, basic joy of enjoying music. just a guitar and vocals will do. the bass only comes in in certain parts. it's good. good music. we should encourage more of such performances. such unexpected performance always make my day. the last time i enjoyed such a performance is by phil winds, a little more than a year ago. till today, it's still a beautiful accident. (:

i remember the first thing i spent my pay on was the machi album. this time round, the first thing i am going to spend it on will be the tickets to the budak pandai showcase. then it'll go to the paying for jack & the bean-sprout followed by probably tickets to phantom of the opera and titoudao. and of course, the S.H.E concert. haha. pure cheesy chinese bubblegum pop. yays! haha.

i want to get an album too. probably get the Jazz In The City 2. heard it the other day. not too bad. or some other jazz album. the only jazz album i have is Jazz In The City and it's with dha, since like forever. haha. or i might just get a christmas album. 'tis the season to be jolly. and more money to go to wen's present and christmas presents for all. whoa. seems like pay is not enough. too bad. cpf took off quite a bit. oh wells. have to make do with what i have.

okays okays. back to my solitare. love you guys.
(:
okays people. i am back! hee. and thanks to the new explorer which i downloaded unknowingly, this window looks weird with different fonts. urgh. anyways, let's not allow this little thing to dampen our mood.

today, i shall introduce someone to you guys. he goes by the name, aloysius saw. aloy is my supervisor now, wynny's ex supervisor. he also happens to be the guy with the weirdest sense of humour. one classic example.

aloy walks into the office. ah girl was doing a blow job.
aloy,"ah girl, wen leh?" (ah girl, where's wen?)
ah girl,"ta qu chi fan." (she went for dinner)
aloy,"ta qu chi fan? wei shen me ta qu chi fan? ta zen me ke yi qu chi fan." (she went for dinner? why did she go for dinner? how can she go for dinner.)
ah girl just kept quiet, couldn't be bothered the tiniest bit about him.
aloy after about fifteen seconds.
aloy,"haha. kai wan xiao er yi lah. haha." (haha. i'm just joking. haha.)
ah girl: (-_-)

see. how retarded loy is. how weird is his sense of humour. i can't help but be amazed by it. and he also is the most embarrassing guy i've ever known.

erica brought helen, yenny, aloy and ah girl shopping at espirit. aloy decides to buy a box of underwear. he passed the thing to erica as she's paying first. then aloy decided to display his sense of hunour again. pointing to the box, he said,"ah. see. erica buying for boyfriend." like diao... no one showed any reaction anyway. after paying, aloy took the receipt from erica to check the price. on the receipt it shows size S. aloy was so surprised because he supposedly bought M. so he took out his box of boxers on the escalator and said,"M mah." then he did the most embarrassing thing ever. he removed one pair of underwear from the box and held it in the middle of the air, looking at the size, making sure it was right. like hello! we happen to be in a very crowded part of town. helen, yenny and ah girl decided to make a dash back to the shop, running as far away from aloy as possible. as you think everything has come to an end, no! aloy went home, holding the box if underwear on his hands. no carrier, nothing. just the box of underwear. he refused to take a bag and carry it inside. so our main lead, aloysius saw, went home, in his really pretty clothes and a box of underwear. the end.

get my point? about 20 more days with him. wish me luck and hope i don't puke blood or suffer from internal bleeding by the end of december.
keep my thoughts from running wild.
((:
like that called love?

there's a funny feeling deep inside my gut,
like that called love?
there's something wrong and i don't know what,
like that called love?
my heart goes haywire, my brain upside down,
i want to be like a hero, but i feel like a clown,
i get a heart attack everytime she frown,
like that called love ah?

the things i've been feeling makes me want to choke,
can this be love?
i always thought romance was just a joke,
am i in love?
when i'm down there, i realise i miss her,
when i'm up here and just want to kiss,
eeee, no way no way,
i can't kiss her,
like that called love meh?

her love is as loud as a car alarm,
her touch is as soft as a lorry,
if i give in to her jumbo charm,
i know my ribs will be sorry.

but every time she smiles,
my heart melts.
wah kao, wah lao, wah piang,
like that call love.

he's an ordinary sized boy,
in an ordinary sized frame,
with pretty average looks,
and a pretty average name.
but here's what i found, when i took him apart,
he's got a giant sized heart.

his smile is a little bit crooked,
and his hair is shiny with gel.
he doesn't have the tiniest clue about women,
i can tell.
but as i suspected, right from the start,
he's got a giant sized heart.

i know his strength is half of mine,
i'll have to learn to be gentle.
but there's no funnier valentine,
he makes me sentimental.
and every time he smiles,
my heart soars,

i'm full of joy, acting coy,
for my boy,
i'm in love.

and though our lives maybe worlds apart,
with him so far below me, (but deep inside i feel)
until we stand here heart to heart, (just how right this is)
i've got to let him know me. (i've got to let her know)
and everytime i'm with him, (for once in my life)
i'll show him, (i know what i want)
till he can see that him and me are meant to be, (wah kao, wah lao, wah piang)
we're in love. (like that call love)

we're in love..
one liner.

in love with a certain jack now.

"wah kao, wah lao, wah piang, like that called love?"

i guess, it is called love.

((: