born serene oh but not old.
nicknamed the old one now.
i stress, i am not old.
i would prefer to be called, mature.

It's not a dream if it came true,
but we exist to dream.
Make a wish,
I'm your faithful genie that doesn't have much patience :)

Designer: lovebites
Image: monatheydidnt
Image Host: Tinypic
Image done in Photoshop CS2

know what? you are the right type. the exact right type. just that you don't happen to be the right one. dang.
i am kinda feeling wrong now. had a talk with serene and priceless over the week and lots of things came out, and none of them good. which is bad. so now i view you as a different person and this isn't going well with me.
_______________

had talks with shihan over the week too and once again, i have learnt to view you in another light. which is really bad cos i don't want things to turn out like that. why do these things have to happen twice a week?
_______________

and i realised that we have been drifting apart. like yah. i think you are ignoring because of her. this isn't going well with me too. why? tell me why? i might have done something to her but if it will cause our relationship to take such a turn, i can only say i am just not as worthy in your eyes compared to her. and this isn't making me feeling really good. dang.
_______________

all in all. i suck in relationship issues and guess what? i don't think i can do anything to revive it. oh wells.
dear ___________

dear _____________,
like a dream you showed up,
turning my life into a fairytale.
like air you entered me,
becoming my source of life.
like vapour you disappeared,
leaving me in pain, hopeless.

dear _____________,
for the times spent,
for the feelings felt,
for the pain inflicted,
for the lessons learnt,
i thank you.

dear _____________,
truth is,
never did i forget,
never will i give up,
forever i,
_____________.
untitled

my heart hangs in mid air,
like a bird flying, aimlessly.
confusion clouds my mind,
wondering which step to take.

there is no ned to this trouble,
nor can a beginning be placed.
slowly it creeps under the skin,
and makes my breathe.

distance is the way out,
but how?
only thing i fully understand,
i'm too lost in you.
oh my gosh. i just realised that jeffery deaver is jeffery and not jeffrey. oh man. hope i got jeffrey archer right and he's not a jeffery. they are so close lah. i won't have figured it out if i didn't stare at the author. oh gosh.
i love the noise of seventh month dinner. it's a very familiar noise. when i was younger, i didn't learn to appreciate it. but nowm i lie it. i really feel myself getting old. hah. the olden tradition is making me high. haha. that sounds wrong.

i'm lovin it. bahlahbahbahbah.
i miss the times we used to spend together. i think i must be mad to want to stay away from you. but i can't help but distance myself, for one simple reason stupid reason of just keeping a distance from you. hah. someone tell me i'm an idiot.

i'm missing you terribly now. terribly.
i'm amazed at the baby language that all of us once know. things like kaka, gaigai, pompom, mummum, etc. haha. words that come in doubles and simple. where they really come from, we don't know. okays. maybe some dialect or even hokkien just that i never bothered to check it out.

baby jibberish is also known by other babies but not to those who have grown up and unaccustomed to baby language anymore. we will never go back to those days when we know baby jibberish, or be innocent like the past, ever again.

this is kinda sad aye. kinda really sad. oh wells.

people, grow up! face the cold hard truth stuck in your face! ahh! i'm going mad. hahahaa.
it's been a long time since i last looked at your features so closely.

they are beautiful, really.

have i ever mentioned that i like your teeth the best? they are so cute.

for those who know me well enough, you should know that i have an obession for teeth right? like i tend to look at a person's teeth and determine it's beauty before really determining other parts. weird aye.

beautiful teeth.
why do i have to put up with you immature fools?! why?!

you fools who don't think at all. who think you are great and sensitive when you are not at all. who think you are very funny and instead, it's the opposite.

i just don't get it! i don't!

nothing in life seem to have made you more mature aye. at least not immature enough to hate or dislike someone cos she is anti social and stuff. come on, she just don't click with the class. what's your fucking problem?

ugh! just f*off everyone. just F*OFF!
i am very pissed with my class. and that's all i know now. they are really pissing me off with their boh chup attitude with the skit. like fuck off people. we don't have a choice. we are so going to screw it up. and we are going to get into trouble aint we? hah. stupid ignorant fools. stop being so unprofessional!!

f*off.
and i'm keeping silent, all these while.
and i'm going to stay this way, all my life.
and you will never get to know anything, out from me.

ever!
watched lake house today. really good. love it. love the scenes, the house, the actor, the actress, the way it was filmed, everything.

cried like an idiot again, as usual. haha. but for proper reasons this time and not stuff that's not common or normal. haha. you will get me if you get me. haha.

i've been wasting time in school these 2 days. i had a 4 hours break yesterday, technically 6 cos karen on course but had to do work, so not considered. and i only have GP today. 1 hour. supposed to have maths but didn't go. couldn't be bothered. didn't bring my notes too. not compulsory anyway.

borrowed another book by jeffrey deanver. love it. i think jeffreys are good. like jeffrey archer and jeffrey deanver and jeffrey huang(?!). hee. not bad. but the only jeffrey i know is my cousin and he ain't outstanding. oh wells.

and carpenters tools came to school today and performed. love them. they sang a medley of everlasting love and that thing you do. haha. the whole arts fac stood up and danced and clapped along. haha. arts fac rock. hee. the lead male singer, carl, sang tong hua too. very cool. cos they are all americans. all of us were so high. cos he is only 19, cute and can sing well. heehee. he even dedicated the song to the arts fac cos we are so supportive and funky. woohoo! check them out at http://www.carpenterstools.blogspot.com cool people. funky.

and to this is to nex. this is a figurative question and i placed you as a victim so you'll relate better. and i didn't do anything, yeah.
"what if one day, i betray your trust and made use of you, what would you do?"
nex, you are like the only one i can play this game with. help me aye. thanks (:
thank you for the times we shared.


thank you for teaching me what love isn't supposed to be.


and i really thank you for forcing me to learn and grow up. we can't stand stagnant forever. and we won't. i won't.


once again, thank you very much.
it's like a burden off my back. a very heavy one. and i am feeling good already. in just 2 days, 24 hours, i made 2 major decisions toquitandtoletgo. and i won't regret them. i am a much happier person now than i used to be 24 hours ago.
(:

on the brighter side, i am really enjoying my life now. and i really love jj and cherylin! they make up 90% of my jc life. or maybe even more. i have no idea how to measure. thank you dears for making jc life so much more endurable.
(:

lastly, it's time to start setting my mind on mugging. and mug is what i shall do. hurhur. but i really don't feel like studying for maths eh. hee. oh wells. jiayou. fight! by the way, i got 28points for CT. yays! it's like twice or more than my last exam! woohoo! i am so proud of me. you should be too. heehee.
((:

ah! forgot to say this. i love wei xiao pasta! and graceh, thanks to you i am hooked onto it. urgh! hahaa. dong liang is so cute! opps. heehee.
((:
and today shall be the day that i am going to let you out of my life for good.

no more days worrying about you.
no more smses asking if you are okay.
no more trips just to see you.
no more minutes wondering whatever happened to you.
no more tears because of you. bythewayicriedthricecosofyou.


it's all over. goodbye. and good night.