born serene oh but not old.
nicknamed the old one now.
i stress, i am not old.
i would prefer to be called, mature.

It's not a dream if it came true,
but we exist to dream.
Make a wish,
I'm your faithful genie that doesn't have much patience :)

Designer: lovebites
Image: monatheydidnt
Image Host: Tinypic
Image done in Photoshop CS2

today's a happy day. yups yup. sport's day. went out with doong, trish, sam, nic, ahmad, fatin and yongjing. yeah. heehee.

celebrate dearest's birthday too. hee. so fun lah. but lazy to write. i guess you guys can refer to her blog for more lah. hahaa.

and i resolve to called yongjing a man from now on. no more kid. no more. cos i realised he is not as kiddified and as weak as we thought him to be. he is a man. at least, a guy.
((:


get well soon yah.
i wonder how i manage to smile.
i wonder.
you made me happy. like happy. for some weird reason. oh wells. things just don't go the way we want it but thanks. yah. really. thanks for making me happy. i know you are decent. hahaa.




i have a secret, little fantasy.
and that is you.
i am giving up. giving up. life is so irritating. nothing goes the way it should be. dang.

i feel like crying. for some weird reason. but no. nothing is coming out. dang again.

oh wells. dang dang dang.
i am fine with whoever you prefer to be with. cos i do not have a say in that. yah. and the fact that you showed concern made me good enough. yeah.

hmm. today was kinda fun. yeah. human geog tutorial never fail to make me happy. hahaa. no matter how much i don't really like daryl lim, i enjoy his tutorials, which is really weird. hahaa. maybe cos i can answer the questions so it's like gave me a boost in confidence. sounds correct? hmm.

of cos, physical geog always makes me happy. cos i so love mr leong. he rocks man. heehee. me was fun too. did like the time table of a typical wednesday and guess what? dearest appeared lah. haha. like in so many of the columns. hmm. hahaa.

break after that. hung around the balcony as usual and tried really hard to do gp but failed terribly. haha. fell asleep in the end. hahahaa. then lunch time with my class. heee. food always makes me happy. but there's something seriously wrong lah. i couldnt finish my pattaya rice eh. like wow. i ate like half only. woohoo. i am really going to get skinner aint i. hahaa. not on purpose though. fatin and i had to return the places cos as usual, our guys arent really guys. we had to return theirs for them lah. so useless. haha.

gp was loooonnggg. like supposed to be 2.5 hours. but she decided to just make it 1.5 and use the other 1 for pw. hee. we only went through 2 articles for gp lah. so slow can. gosh. and i wonder why we need so many gp make-ups. cos she is slow. like slow! new teachers. she sure need some training. heehee. pw was fun too. cos i was just hanging around before ms wee said the class can tap on my expertise on pw. oh nos. there come the people for me to read through their PIs and comment. dang. i kinda sucked at that. oh nos. they must be like this girl cannot make it lah. how did she get a 2. hahaa. oh wells. by luck. hahaa.

came back with doong. haha. she had french in bishan mah. hahaa. so when we were discussing to go back together, it was like,'ohs. we are going to french later.' hahaa. sounds wrong eh. hahaa. johnny kept on telling her to keep a look out for me. hahaa. cos i am so crooked. hahaa. then i was like,'doong, you trust me more than you trust him right?' and she said yah, then she put her hands on my shoulders and mine on her waist. hahaa. johnny was like,'oh no. that's what i told you to look out for.' hahahhaaa. oh wells. i guess, he seriously thinks i'm a bi. hahaa. hmm. we shall see. heee.

wow. i havent blogged for so much in days. hahaha. seems like the blogging bug is back. like finally. this morning i was still thinking if i can blog anymore. cos like no more feelings. good thing it came back. heehee.

okays. time to go and crack my brains on what to do on wednesday. cya people.
<333!!
can't i pms? can't i pms? can't i pms? CAN'T I PMS!!!!

ahh. just fuck off man. i mean it. just god damn it fuck off.

i am really too nice. way too nice. so nice that you can just exploit me. i must learn to fight back. but can i? can i? can i!!

ahh.
To God Be The Glory

a phrase that's hung high up in the air,
etched on the minds of many young girls.
they may be from different races and religions,
but the same experience is what that will connect them,
together.
the experience of a school,
a family, and a home.
home to many, young and the old.
for those who have came and past,
the memory will leave an impact on their lives.
and for those who are still here,
may they enjoy the experience,
experience of being a saint.
a st margs girl.

God Bless everyone of you.

p.s. remember this,"Thank You and God Bless you, mr/mrs/ms _____" may it stay etched in our minds, forever.
hmm. i dont know what to write about here. like, blogging is not part of my life anymore. haha. i just dont know what to write lah. oh wells. hmmm.

pe was fun today. we played handball. heehee. i think i defend quite well, but i cannot catch balls for nuts. like no. maybe soccer ball or basketball still can. handball a bit the small ah. i look like so idiot chasing after the ball, trying to pick it up from the floor lah. haha. so stupid.

what else? hmmm. i dont know. been feeling a little moody, in the wrong way. like bad mood, mood swings, screaming at others and back to my violent days of slapping people on the backs and pushing their heads. oh no. and swearing too. i tried to stop. i only scolded twice on tuesday but it just came back yesterday. maybe cos my mood was really bad. that's why. hmmm.

oh wells. stupid grace got me hooked onto the maou show. cos i am simply too bored lah. haha. oh wells. long weekend. hope i get to rest. yeah. off.
hmmm. hmmm. hmmm.

i have taken on a habit of writing down stuff in my cute disco book. so i wont have so much to say here. and also, those are spur of the moments thoughts so i also wont and lazy to post. hahaa. but one thing is, i seem to have figured out the root of my problems. as in why am i so not trusting and insecure. hee. which is good lah. now i can cure it. haha.

ohpps. i'll just find like lots of excuses to hang around them man. heehee. i am so evil. hahaahahaa. anyways, i so love the way he talks can. like so nice. so nice. so nice. heehee. low, perfect english, animated, lively and of cos, charming. heeheehee. did i mention he has really nice hands too. big and hmm...warm? hahaha. and he has what nex likes most. veins on the arms. hahhaa. according to her, this is called got train. hahahhaha. i suppose.

my guy classmates are all like so skinny can. like 52 kg 56 kg etc. except ragu. he is like 100+. oh wells. expected. hahaa.

woohoo. i have so much work to do and i am like slacking here. oh wells. will try and do later. haha. i rushed out so much work today lah. like human geog question, physical geog test, gp thingy and pi skeleton. i am kinda good huh. hahaha. okays. off to lala land.
hmm. i forgot to write about the human touch thingy. man. i need human touch.
human touch = hugs

i need them so much lah. hugged mellie and mello so many times yesterday. resorted to felicia and nic today. hugged mellie too. wanted to hug mimi too. man. i need hugs.

everyone needs a human touch. like us polka dots, i think we are too pampered by them that we cannot leave without it.

people, hug me yah. like how i'll hug you.
okays. hee. anyway, dearest, my love is woosh. hee. now i can say it openly. i was so afraid lah. in case my people finds out. haha.

anyway, had soccer training today. stayed in school to rot while time passes. had lots of fun with ahmad nic ragu johnny serene felicia terena elsie peiyu cheryl. hee. we are so funny people lah. haha. like sexy.hahaa. we shouted,'hey sexy' to ms wee lah. haha. so funny. i think the whole cafe can hear us. woohoo. so happening. haaha.

hmm. training was okay lah. only 1.5 hours long. yah. in the so-called dont know how to kick batch. hahaa. okays. 8 of us were isolated lah. everyone else played and trained really while we just you know, do the usual stuff. oh wells. heck. i'll make it nexy year. ahaha.

ohs. went for a6 gathering after training. rushed down with nic. hee. so sad lah. so little turned up. but those that should turn up did. hee. mimi ashraf ryan shaopeng jianrong keynes clayton bevelry hilary nic eliza and me. heee. so funny lah. mimi and keynes kept on like shouting vulgarities at each other. haha. like fuck here fuck there. chee bai here chee bai there. and the cantonese ones too. haha. miss them man. no matter how vulgar they are, how unglam, how they throw our school's face, how crude, how rough, how...i still miss them. i love them. time will never come back. even thought a7 is fun too. it's a different type. a6 is the beng-vulgar fun. a7 is the lame-enthusiatic fun. very different. very different. ryan still looks good. like a little boy. a bit monkeyish though. when he said fuck, it sounded good too. haha. maybe cos of his good pronounciation and slang, it just sounds good. shaked his hand too. haha. so formal lah. haha. he has really nice fingers. didn't manage to get a good feel of his hand though. he didn't give a firm shake no matter how firm i tried to. yeah. and slapped ashraf a high 5. oh mans. i miss them already. and mimi just kept on entertaining us about stories and all. the rug stuff. ah! i miss them.

what else? hmm. oh. mr chan is in ac lah. like sa's rival. hahhaa. so funny. we were like eee..ac. haha. the best is yet to be, and will never be. hahahhahaa. poor him. i felt i was kinda mean to him too. threw his shoebag on the floor. gosh, i feel so evil. oh wells. it's over. i really miss a6. i miss them. life without them will be boring. different.

and i talked to keynes quite a bit today. and shaopeng yesterday. so weird. oh wells. and i seriously think i am a guy lah. oh wells. hahahaa
((:
reason why i changed my blog add again. cos too many people know about it.
especially my classmates.
need them to stay away from it. cos i'll say things they shouldn't know. should they find out about this blog, somehow, i'll die. yah.
okays. hee.
i don't know.
i really don't.

what is wrong? life's so f* up. yah. like everything is wrong. everything. i am doing stuff i shouldn't. enjoying happiness that doesn't belong to me. ugh.

my eyes are so dry.
but i can't cry.
the sun shining down,
hurting my eyes.

can i still see?
can i still feel?
can i still love,
just like the other.
i seriously don't know what's wrong with me lah. yah. like fuck man. and i promised rach i'll stay off that word. ugh. okays. this is seriously the super wrong season now. like totally wrong. everything is making me sad. down. even nic feels a little too. like a little, suicidal. but no. we are not gonna do it, are we? hmm.

ugh. i try so hard to hold me tears while watching the video coach showed us just now. so much so that by the end, i feel nothing. nothing at all.

i do not feel. i do not love.

and sorry to you. for saying fuck off to you. yeah. not on intention. but you were just a little teeny weeny irritated by you. that's all. sorry. i might be thinking too much but i thought i felt you keeping a distance. then again, i think this is the wrong season.

ugh. ahhhhh!!!!!!!
i am kinda hoping i'll fall ill from the rain. yah. i don't know why. think i am too tired. too tired already. this is a bad season. not only the rainy season, but also my down season. oh wells.

we should have a crying party man. everyone's invited to come and cry. any suggestions where and when? hmm. someone, state some details and we will go about doing it. okays? if we just can't cry, then i'll play some super korean tearjerker. sounds good?

okays. then feedback and say, register a place? hmm.
hmm. what can i say? baby is the best! haha. and fel, he is mine!! ahaha. okays.

ohs. and i am so gonna hide my "sexy" love in a little corner of my heart. hee. and that's the only place my "sexy" love will stay. yeah. cos i cannot let the whole world know about my "sexy" love. hee.

ohs. and i saw my "andrew" love at yj the other day. hee. so cute. hahahaa. and was caught by jaja lah. she saw me glancing at him. oh nos. heee. jaja, he is mine too!! hahaahaha. okays. don't get too upset yah. i'll be here for you. yeah.

what else? hmm. ohs. hahaa. grace named another love of mine dong dong. haha. so cute lah you. graceh, you are so lame and funny. heehee.

hmm. if strangers like chance upon this blog, they will be like, how come this girl has so many loves. haha. too bad lah. someone is very loving mah. have lots of love to share. heehee.

ohs. dreamt of lil birdy yesterday. hee. we were supposed to meet at serene's macs for breakfast before going to school lah. which school, i have no idea. anyways, then we were messaging each other and i remember typing,"i am gonna leave at 6.30" then she asked if i am gonna bus or cab down. haha. and i happily said cab. haha. it's the start of the month lah. haha. even in my dreams i know it. hahaahhaa.

hmmm. ohs. went home drenched today. haha. cos 6 of us had to share 3 umbrellas. hahaha. the i shared with ragu. but his brolly flew up lah.and my side only can. so i decided to walk in the rain, with yongjin. hahhaha. he looks like a hooligan lah. hahahaa. in the end, all of us decided to walk in the rain except nicholas. (ragu went off to take 142 lah.) hahaa. nic looks like an uncle lah. rolled up pant and umbrella. hahaa. so funny. i am so gonna post it up when i get the pic bluetoothed to the udi man. heehee. okays.
i think i am just scared. scared of showing how fragile i am. how fragile i really am.

played ball with the class today. got hit in the face. to be accurate, left eye and left side of the nose. well, as a natural reaction, tears welled up in my eyes. it's not because it's so painful or what. just that the brain sent a signal to cry, so tears appeared. seeing this, i quickly bent down and cover my nose, started to laugh. the laughing may jolly well be a defensive natural reaction to hide the tears. i laughed and laughed and stayed bent down, covering my nose still, till the tears got blinked back. hmm. i guess, i am just really scared. and it all happened naturally.

i think other girls might just show their tears. but i don't. i don't seem to like showing my fragile side to others. yah. to date, and with my really lousy memory, i think only grace has seen me cry. as in real life. not in like movies or what. yah. actually, she didn't seeme cry. just tears threatening to fall any minute. then again, i think mich too. after we received our chinese o's results. hmm.

i am scared, ain't i?