born serene oh but not old.
nicknamed the old one now.
i stress, i am not old.
i would prefer to be called, mature.

It's not a dream if it came true,
but we exist to dream.
Make a wish,
I'm your faithful genie that doesn't have much patience :)

Designer: lovebites
Image: monatheydidnt
Image Host: Tinypic
Image done in Photoshop CS2

one shoutout to the one who might never ever read this.

my angel, where are you? haven't heard from you for, say, a year? i forgot about you too. sorry. i think i need you now. can you get into contact with me again? but know what? if you manage to see this and contact me, i should be able to find out who you are. haha. oh wells. didn't mean to scare you. haha. i won't go and search, because GAs are supposed to be kept a secret. do send me a mail through the email add you gave me the last time okays. to my present email add. angel, at least drop me a note to tell me you're always here. silently. thanks.

love,
the one who are looking after.
for you people out there, you know who you are, i do know what is going on in your minds. i know. just that i have no wish to declare war cos i do love peace and don't like trouble. yups. but just don't think i act as if i don't know doesn't mean you can go on with it. oh well. you guys won't even read my blog in the first place. lastly, i like to say i really don't give a damn about what you think cos it's my life. and i live it the way i want(:
ohohs. back to those i never belonged days. hur. but heck it man. heck. all i need is my love. my love. my lover. hahahaa. oh nos. a bit high over here.
=D
met up with graceh today. heee. had fun. okays. at least i had fun. haha. and shopping is fun but sucks when you can't decide which one to get. haha. i am a very fickle-minded shopper. haha.
i love graceh! ((:

okays. and i watched wei xiao 16 this morning. hahaha. i can only say dongliang is getting cuter with each episode and gino and xiaoqiao so cute lah! haha. love love love.

lastly, tomorrow is working day. yays. excited and nervous. hmm. i can't wait to start man. =D

ah. one more thing. drank my very first ang gu today. haha. choo and phua! what's so nice about ang gu?! eeyer. hahaa.

and, graceh, we have to go K soon. then we can sing our ring ring song. hahaaa.

love you people!
after udee, i have a new love in my life. and it shall be named kent. i love the name kent! for nickname, you can call it kenny. haha. isn't it longer than kent? haha.
((:

i love kent!
okays. feeling totally different from yesterday. around 1hour later than this time yesterday, i was feeling troubled about 2007. feeling so lost and down. couldn't get to sleep at all. i tossed and turned in bed, thoughts running running running non-stop. i thought it could jolly well be the end of the world for me.

but now, about 22hours later, i am feeling so energetic. life can't get any better. i have the love from people i least expected. it came as a shock at first, but now it's a source of comfort. thanks for telling me how much i meant to you, even though i don't think i did anything much. you were exaggerating but heck, i'm going to take it seriously. hee. glad that you think i did a lot for you. maybe i did, unknowingly. provided you warmth aye. thanks to ahma for her idea of a pullover. haha.

anyways, i have to thank you for everything too. for caring for me. thinking about me whenever there's a change in weather. haha. sounds weird but hey, thanks. haha. for the good nights and good mornings. for the love, hugs and kisses. haha. this sounds so wrong. haha. thanks for being there, just being there. and yes, should i need a shoulder to cry on, you better be present. you must fly back from wherever you are, i don't care. being demanding here but you promised, so stick to it. maybe i will go and send you off. maybe i won't. depends. the most i can do now is to encourage you through A's. hee.

so, fight on. about less than 5 days to A's, press on for it. excel in it. make me proud of you babe. you can do it. and don't you dare fall sick now. sinus is common for you in the mornings so it won't affect your exams right? it won't right? oh wells.

thanks for everything. everything. everything. all the times from 2004 (or is it 2003?) till now. may we have many more days to go on and reminisce about. love ya babe. love ya.
(:
A Shoulder To Cry On by Tommy Page

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't be alone
Cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
__________________________________________________
thanks to da for the song. thanks. same goes for you okays.
(:
first i had so many things running through my head concerning next year.
then now i have so many things runnning through my head concerning da. urgh.

stupid da! stupid da! stupid da! thanks for making me so troubled now that i don't know how to react. damn you. but babe, thanks okay. thanks. you shouldn't have done this but thanks. will accept your good intentions but get this right okays, i'm not worth it. not at all. don't think so highly of me yah. i did nothing to deserve this. damn.

da, you are making me lost. so lost. and helpless. only thing i can do now is to repay your kindness next year. i will. no worries. i'll always be happy, the way you want me to be. i will not be bored, because you don't like me being bored. and i will study hard. mug hard. for a's. no worries babe. i will.

da, really. thank you. there's not enough thanks to cover my gratitude for you. and i am feeling so empty now, thanks to you. urgh. this is a love-hate relationship man. damn. okays. off to feeling troubled again. thank da, thanks.
sometimes i just don't understand. how can people turn up late? i just don't get it. i only turn up late when i'm meeting graceh. haha. sorry girl but it's a mutual thing right? hee. anyways, i seem to be waiting for people all my life, whenever i go out. not that i mind, just that i never understood why. hmm. can anyone tell me why? other than the fact that they are girls. haha. could it be that they have no sense of urgency? don't care about those waiting? or what? why? i guess it's a mystery that always remains unsolved.

side track a little, it's been raining these days. take care people.
(:
okays. watched deathnote yesterday. it's kinda disappointing. yah. not quite what i expected. wanted it to be better but it turns out to be boring at certain parts, especially the beginning. well. first time i actually have so many negative comments for a moive yah. i guess it shows that i really expected a lot from it.

it didn't follow closely to the manga but there are certains parts which the script writer came up that are good. like the part in the museum. very good and creative thinking from the script writer. thumbs up to her (just assumed it's a her. hee.)

what else? in all, i am just disappointed with the movie but i think part 2 will be way better from the trailer i watched. they are not going to show the whole story yah. probably till book 5 or 6 only. so there'll be no near or mello. oh wells. maybe it's the best choice after all as after L passed away, the story tends to get a little draggy. but, i will still support the movie, no matter what. why? because i really loved the story and maybe bcause it's the first comic series that i have completed collecting. i love deathnote.

one more thing. the guy who acted as light is ugly. can't stand the sight of him. the real light is handsome and suave. this one looks like mian bao chao ren. haha. sorry for being so mean. anyway, a warning to you people. don't ever catch a movie on weekends or last day of school. if you must, watch the morning show because the afternoon shows suck. the kids yesterday were making so much noise throughout the whole show, laughing and all. i can't even try to enjoy my moive. i don't understand their sense of humour at all. i can't understand it. oh wells. but i think the guys sitting beside me was pissed off by me. he left halfway through the show. i think it's me because i was eating nachos and it's loud when you bite into it. he showed signs of unhappiness whenever i bit into my nachos. i feel so bad. i tried to muffle the sound but it's not easy. sorry uncle/brother. sorry.

oh, that choo and phua dropped the whole nachos thing onto his bag and it became cheesy. haha. good thing the bag's orange so it's not so bad. haha. it's so comical can. haha.

one last thing. i think deathnote is bad only for those who read the manga so don't feel worried about watching it kays. it should be alright for you guys.

cheers.
at the yamaha studio now. reminds me of the dance studio we went to in crestar (?) for the dance practice for the j8 performance years back. damn high! i miss the days man. i miss dancing. ah! someone bring me to dance! i want to dance! i need to dance! ah!! haha. freaking high! haa.
standing on one leg is kinda interesting. like what i am doing now in yamaha. hee. it's weird looking but fun! heee. it tests one's patience and leg strength yah? haha. alrights. i balance better and longer on my left leg eh. isn't it weird? shouldn't it be the right? hmm.
sometimes i wonder, why can't i play instruments unlike others. if i learnt from young, i might not even be tone-deaf now. however, maybe due to this, i've learnt to appreciate music a lot. okays. not a lot. but enough to enjoy myself. hee.

anyone interested to buy me cds or pay for my lessons? haha.
i'm telling myself i can't shed a single tear for this. they can blame me, nag at me, scold me, but i won't cry. not really sure how much of this is my fault but i did tell them to study didn't i? damn. this situation is hard for all of us, not only you guys. will they understand? do they understand? damn. i don't feel good at all, not at all. shouldn't have put so much feelings into this relationship from the start. it's a mistake from the beginning. why? why? i ask myself repeatedly but i get no answer. no answer. absolutely nothing. who can i turn to for answers? who can i turn to for comfort? who can i blame for all this? no one. no one. damn. i'll start afresh. i hope to start afresh. hoping they can too. put everything behind and let's all have a new beginning. all of us think it's hard for ourselves but have we considered each others'? i think not. damn. cruelty of life. damn.

feeling a little better now but damn. oh wells.
okays people, it's out. and yes, it's not what i wanted. then again, since when did things ever turn out the way we wanted. oh wells. i'll survive, like i have said all the time, i will survive. destined to be alone whenever there's a transit between the years. haha. heaven's making a fool out of me yah. haha.

people, i love you guys yah, and i love my cousins! i seem to stress this everyday but i really love you people. hee. love love love!

p.s. yes jo. it's jolin! haha.
have i mentioned this before? i don't believe in fairy tales, the happy endings. my favourite princess is the little mermaid, ariel. in the original story by hans christian anderson, mermaid and her prince didn't get together in the end. he married the other woman. mermaid was supposed to stab the prince before sun rise to stay alive or turn into foam. guess what? she couldn't bear to kill him so she bid her sisters the final goodbye before turning into foam, disappearing into the horizon as the sun slowly rises. beautiful picture ain't it. but, she died. she sacrificed herself for her prince.

this is what i call true love and it doesn't happen in the real life. and i think the prince doesn't love her at all. which is really sad. she found her true love in him but she's not his. the cruelty of reality is shown here. it's so cruel. yet, disney can turn it into such a happy story. they do have the ability to make people happy don't they? make us believe in happy endings.

both disney and anderson has their different ways of seeing life, portraying it. one sees it happy, and it brought some light and hope into the lives of those who read their stories. on the other hand, anderson shows the real life. it's cruelty and sadness. there is no such thing as reciprocation of love. there's only something called giving your everything and losing them in the very end. the real way of life.

i think disney has done a great job in the sense that they don't expose children to the cruelty at a young age. instead, they made the beinning of their lives happier, giving them something to turn to when they are troubled or sadden by the cruelty in the later part of their lives.

as for me, i prefer anderson. somehow, it prepares one earlier, forcing them to face life and learn about it. how about you?
there's always this thing in a song that touches your heart. at least for mine. like energy's duo ai wo yi tian. that line which mr zhang sang was fantastic. it hit home. till now, whenever i hear it, i still feel that thing in my heart. i love mr zhang for that.

listening to old eg's songs now. we can call it, reminiscence? i'm amazed at my own ability to remember the lyrics of the songs and telling apart one member's voice from the other. they will always remain a big and important part of my teens and polka dots life. thanks.
to da, don't love me so much aye. i'm not worthy of it. but still, thanks for everything babe. thanks.
(:
today would probably be the last day that i am so happy. after today, maybe i won't be me anymore. whatever happens tomorrow, i hope i can maintain my cool. better still, i might not even know the final outcome. keeping myself in denial till next jan 3rd. no matter what, i will aja aja fighty!

and on a random note, i love me cus! love you babes. love you.
alrights people. i have to clear this thing today.

i don't get upset whenever someone mentions polka dots. okays. i only got upset once, when ST openly "critisized" our uniform. so don't think that you can't mention polka dots around me. or make fun of it. i can take it yah. because i know it's out of fun. yah. keep that in mind people. keep that in mind non-polka dotters. hee. nice name. ((:

on the happier side, went out with wynny today to interview. shopped around before going over. shopping is fun. i nearly bought a wallet but it's exterior ain't that fanstastic. loved the interior though. hope to find one similiar to that soon. anyways, starting work next wednesday. so book me now while you still can. because from wednesday onwards, i won't be able to go anymore. yups.

one more thing. i have outgrown the fast food phase so people, i am saved! haha. from all the fats i would likely gain if i continue eating fast food. yays! i am saved! haha. oleh oleh oleh oleh.
after saturday, i realised a few more things about myself.

o1. chocolate is bad. no more chocolate for me.
o2. i like sitting on the floor. a lot. so if we go out and i suddenly sit on the floor, forgive me.
o3. squatting down is even better than sitting on the floor. but according to my fatherly figure, adi, it's not nice. unglam. not suitable for females at all. haha. so many times, he wanted to kick me lah. haha. sorry cus. hee.

okays. so. i am a very floor person. haha. i love the floor. eh. some seats really suck lah. like the one i sat on in tp macs today. bad. not backing. i like the normal chairs beside my table better. haha.

okays. randomness. =D
today is not such a bad day. even though i missed school and missed all the drama in school, heck it. i'll either get to hear about it eventually or i just don't allow myself to be bothered by it. hee.

supposed to teach phua chinese today but sigh. i feel like vomitting blood. it's horrible. but oh wells. heck it. tried to teach him all the lu xun and his greatness. haha. information overload. ahaa. saw ahma and xiaojiao. oh my. this is damn surprising lah. like suddenly, hello! they are in front of me. haha. but didn't get to say much cos they weird weird lah. don't know why. hor ahma.

ahma! see you next thursday okay. heee. so exciting. haha.

going to watch my wei xiao 15 in about 2 hours time. yays! so fun. i can't wait to see my dongliang. he is so cute! heee.

okays. off to read my one piece and bleach. till then, love you babes!
i realised i am not the average teenage girl you find on the streets.

i don't like sweet stuff. something nex found out about me. seems like it's true. i don't like chocolate, ice cream, sweets, name it. all the while, i thought i really liked sweet things. seems like i only like things that are really sweet in content but not sweet things in general. get me? you don't? nevermind.

i don't really shop. shopping to me is just a normal thing but i won't die without it. i can survive perfectly well without it. to me, shopping trips are trips spent with friends/cousins and look at them shop. yah. all i do is to enter a shop, say something is nice and then, wait for the others to finish shopping.

i don't like long hair. okay. put it this way. i would love to have long hair but i can't wait for it to grow. and i can't be bothered with how i look with or without long hair.

i nag a lot. like a lot. get it? a lot. i have the tendency to repeat myself over and over again, keep on harping on a topic or even, a sentence. that's actually an auntie behaviour, but i am like that. weird.

i also have the tendency to treat everyone as kids. like i am the oldest around, the motherly figure and i have the need/right to take care of you kids. have you noticed this before? i like to say kids a lot. even when i'm refering to those older than me. i always refer to guys as boy. like boy, you know it's wrong to do this. that sorta thing. a motherly figure.

what else? basically, i am not like a normal girl that needs people to take care of but more like an elder person who take care of others. hmm.
i realised i like hugging people from behind. it's nice. really nice. resting my head on the person's back is good. real good. relaxing too. hee.

hugging from the front is a total different story. it's more of a connection between souls while hugging from the back is a form of relaxation and unwillingness to let that person go.

in all, i just like to hug. or it should be, i love to hug.

my human touch. where has it gone to? where'd you go? i miss you so.
okays. it's post 18th birthday day and here i am to offer you babes (hunks?) my heartfelt thanks.

in the order of sms received:
gimgek
nanthini
da
dearest
carol
xiuhua
graceh
xiao jiao
michelle foo
khainam
priya
mellie
jimmy
shuann
eunice
chinyee
joanne
yongjin
peishan
sam
nana
suaku
michelle ng
caoyang
sarah
guotai
wynny
nexa
nicole.dance
valerie

thanks babes. thanks. and to the guys, hmm, thanks man. haha. special mention to carol and khainam. thanks for remembering. really. i didn't expect it at all. thanks. and to nam, eh, sorry babe. heee. other unexpected greetings are from priya, sarah, caoyang, mich ng, nicole, jimmy and shuann. thanks babes. thanks. (:

okays. another major event i have to thank for is A7. thanks kids. thanks. thanks for the "surprise" and making me eat all the cake so you can offer it nicely to the teachers. thanks.
to A7:
sally
roxanne
felicia
terrena
cheryl
yanyun
valerie
peiyu
elsie
clara
ragu
zakir
yongjin
serene
jonadab
(hope i didn't leave anyone out)

to chinyee, peishan, aiping, simhui and subing. thanks for remembering and caring before you guys leave for study break. i am really glad to have known you guys. thanks babes.

also, to my beloved cousins. love you guys lots.
thanks to bobby(alan) for dinner. i thank you on the behalf of the rest too.
to the girls, wynny, xueping, lynsey, for getting a huge chocolate cake which is almost impossible to finish.
to shing for appearing. it's like wow.
to xing for her rubber band. heee. it's really hot.
to adi, for being there. for letting me hold on to you like a pet (or so they say). can't help it if i like to hold on to something when i walk right. haha.

hey cousins, i really love you guys lots. lots. lots. and lots. and of course, alan, you are considered a cousin too. heehee. yesterday was fun. even though most of the time we were doing nothing. haha. just having the presence of you guys are enough to make my day. thanks.

all in all, thanks babes. thanks. love you guys to the sun and hope to come back in one piece.
(:
to adi.

我终于知道自己的决定了。
我虽然渴望幸福，但却没有勇气去追求它。
而我现在所能做的也只有放开我的手，让它走。
我给你最后的疼爱是手放开。
最近很喜欢听李圣杰的歌。它们似乎每一首都是我的心情写照，听了感触极多。特别爱听最近和手放开，真的很好听。不妨去试试，我保证效果一定令你满意。
i am learning to not take you guys for granted. life would be without you guys soon. i have to learn.

just today, during chapel, choo said,"this may be my last chapel with you." it's so bad. so bad. all the time, i was hoping that choo will go up with me because phua has confirmed to stay down, so at least i still have someone. but, she's thinking of staying down. i would, of course, encourage her to stay down as i believe it will only benefit her but i just can't bear to see her go. when she said those words to me, my heart broke. yet another scar, yet another scar. i didn't feel this bad when i left 79 but with choo and phua leaving me, i am almost on the verge of being killed.

choo and phua, you might not have realised it but i really cannot bear to see you leave. i am now trying to learn to be alone and independent, surviving without the 2 of you. this is hard, but i have to learn. there is no use living in denial but more hope trying to face the fact.

wanted to go for breakfast today because it could jolly well be our last breakfast together. enjoyed chapel because it might be the last. trying to secure all the time spent with you so that i won't regret not spending enough time together.

all in all, i just want to say thank you for being there. i love you and i will miss you.
刚刚和堂哥聊了聊，是个有趣的谈话。

讲的自己不仅悲伤了起来。

突然觉得自己很笨，笨到不可救药。
不可以再想了，不可以。
别再笨下去了。
i hate flu. or flu that is about to arrive. it makes me sad. like all teary eyed and tappy nose. it makes me want to listen to sad songs and feel sad. like what i am doing now. this is bad. like really bad. dang.

anyways, went to nexa's place today. hee. it's cool. haha. no lah. just that it's been damn long since i have last been there. and i miss whisky like crap. haha. this sounds wrong. haha. okay, back to the point. i miss whisky!! and i love him so much!! haha. the first ever dog that i dared to touch and learnt to like then finally, love. whisky is so cute!! ahh!! i miss him already. whisky!!!
okays. results. people, come and ask me for 4D numbers okay. because i got exactly 4Ds for promos. haha. here it comes.

econs: D (kinda happy and sad. wanted to do better but from a U to a D in like 2 months is fanstastic. haha. it's D for promos and overall by the way.)

chinese: D (okays. this is not too bad. didn't screw it up as much as i thought. but i just can't understand why we must memorise the sub-headings when we know the content below it! urgh. i got the content but not the sub-headings so a lot less marks. damn.)

gp: D (for both promos and overall. kinda disappointed with my essay. only 26 but it's okay. learn from my mistakes. yah. anyway, my gp is 12th in class, which is out of 27. not bad eh. heehee. my AQ rocks. haha. 6 out of 8. tell me i am good. haha. have to thank karen for this. she taught me well. haha.)

chinese h1: A (like duh. hahaaa.)

maths: D!!!!! (woohoo. i can't believe it. thought it would be a E or S. haha. i passed my promos. on the dot. 22.5 out of 50. hahaa. the exact same grade as common test. haha. my CA must be pretty well done if not it's not so easy to get a D for overall. woohoo!)

geog: to be confirmed (got S for promos. i only need 0.5 more to an E. hope ms seow helps me find it. pretty please. hoping to get an E for overall. should know by tomorrow. pray.)

so now, without counting chinese h1 and geog, i have obtained 37.5points! yays. i am promoted! hee. final score will probably be 42.5points or 47.5points without counting chinese h1. am i good or am i good? haha. i really hope my geog is an E so i can say i have officially passed all subjects. haha. okays. now children, remember to ask me for 4D number if you want to earn some extra cash. hahhahahaa.
okays. i have lots to say. but whether all comes out, that's another matter. hee.

first, i miss my 79 people. farewell assembly last thursday, 12 Oct o6. that's the day when we got to know some of our results too. anyway, i really miss you people. can't believe you guys have like graduated and left me here. evil but 79ers, i love you guys!!

next. friday the 13 is totally jinxed. for me. like hello. i had greenie that day but contemplated to skip. didn't in the end. i am such a slave to my cca. haha. anyways, so shihan jason and i hung the banner. after that, supposed to shift the table for open house. waited for 2.30 to come so that we can move the table. slacked and folded grasshoppers in d101. finally, we slacked too much and only got the table shifted at 3.30. shihan and i were the only ones moving because the rest took so long to come that by the time they arrived, the table also happened to reach it's destination. oh wells. left school around 4 and when to SLF building to collect some stuff. here, i started to become unlucky.

took a bus to raffles town club and was supposed to take 132. but i took 156 instead because somehow i thought it goes there. after a stop, it just feels so wrong that i dropped and walked back a bus stop to take 132. finally after real long, 132 came and it took me 5 stops this time round to realise i'm heading the in wrong direction. dropped again and went across to wait for my bus. while crossing, 132 left me. dang. so i waited real long for the bus again. and i finally reached SLF one hour after i left school. and guess what? it was only supposed to be a 20min trip. how suay am i? anyway, i also realised that 156 DOES go there but it takes a much longer journey. see? suay suay suay!

14 Oct o6 is open house. not too bad. not too good. just normal i guess. was in school the whole day and did nothing but fold grasshopper and walked around the school. and i missed all 3 band performances, 2 dance performances and 2 cheerleading performances. why? because at those timeslot, i happen to be busy. like being called by teachers to do stuff, or teaching grasshopper folding or even, having my lunch break outside school. isn't that bad? i am really upset. i wanted so much to see the band performance. oh wells. no such luck.

and i love greenie more and more. it's a sai kang cca. a little similiar to guides. and i love it. guess i am a sai kang person. haha. i enjoy nothing more than doing sai kang. haha.

went with dad to buy new phone that night. the salesman looks vaguely familiar but i can't seem to remember where i met him before. cheryl said any cute guy is familiar lah. eh. i tell you ah. no loh. i remember where already okay.

at first i thought he looked a little like sh's friend, aaron. he does resemble aaron a little. then i thought hard. like real hard. because i know i have seen that pair of eyes before and it's not aaron's. that pair of eyes are really pretty with long eyelashes. i don't recall aaron with these eyes. i thought through all the possibilites of me meeting guys because the chances are low. then, something struck me. and i got it. it's zijie. the venture from sr. he has beautiful eyes with long lashes. the type girls will die to have. yes. it's zijie. hahaha. that pair of eyes and lashes, i will never forget. i remember the many times we gush over his pretty eyes and lashes. yes. heee. i love the eyes!! :D

results up in the next post. heee.
what other random stuff do i have to say? hmm.

okays. typing with long nails is hard. either that or because i've been away from udee for way too long.

next. i want to cut me hair but i'm not given permission to! ahh! this weather is killing me!

also. i am trying to be a couch potato tomorrow and i just realised that tomorrow is workout day too. how?

then. town is no fun.

finally. i am so addicted to one piece that i am thinking of buying another copy tomorrow which will lead to many more copies this week. dang. good thing the only comic shop nearby only sells the lastest book and not suitable for outdated readers like me. heng ah.

---end of randomness---
it's time.
it's time.
it's time to start losing fats.

target:
o1. 45kg
o2. flat tummy
o3. i'll be happy if i reach either target

plan:
o1. go jogging tomorrow
o2. possibly swimming too if i can make it
o3. i want to gym tomorrow too
o4. do at least 50 sit-ups/crunches every night before sleeping

more feasible plan:
o1. stop going to macs
o2. no more kfc
o3. bk, ljs and yoshi too
o4. prata is out, except for the date with nex which is still in the process of deciding
o5. no chips
o6. stay away from coke, pepsi, 7-up, sprite, carbonated water in general

finally:
o1. i really hope i achieve at least a little something
o2. fats is good for you
o3. i love me tummy!!

=D
okays. the biggest issue nowadays is the big HAZE! right. guess what? i didn't even know it was hazy until serene complained on like tuesday or something like that. hah. i am like seriously outdated. and maybe blind? as proven for my maths paper. anyways, i shall make some comments on it. haha.

basically, the haze has big impacts on our health and the environment. i don't understand how come they have to burn the trees just to clear the land? as an economist, i actually understand but i just cannot take the whole situation as a geographer (correct term?). in econs, this is known as profit maximisation in the short run (or long run? i think is short) and negative externality in production. it's bad! okays.

also, i can't help but always think that my glasses are dirty because it's so blur. kinda stupid but can't be helped. haha.

however, on the brighter side, it's not so bad to see haze around because it can be kinda pretty. like how everything is blur and and we don't have to see things clearly. life is sad when we have to see things clearly, even the bad stuff. yah. with the haze, it seems like a veil that blocks our view. when our view is obstructed, things seem to look more beautiful. yah.

((:
i am finally done with my promos and am i glad that it's over? maybe. i somehow don't really feel excited or what. guess i have gone through the phrase of being weirdly happy after exams everytime. hmm. i am more confident of doing well this time as compared to last year. i think the state of mind you are in really affects. like last year i believed in repeating and guess what? i did. this time round, i believe i am able to do okay well. therefore, this time i am so going to do well. hoping to get the results of:

econs : D (maybe C? hope hope hope)

geog : E (hoping a D if i didnt screw up my human as badly as i thought)

chinese : E (i was aiming for a C but it seems possibly impossible. my section 1 was kinda bad and paper 1 ain't fanstatic at all)

gp: C (please please please. i believed my essay and aq is way better this time. like i did know how to do it. unlike in the past. must admit karen is good.)

chinese h1 : A (it has to be an A. no way man if i get a B or worse, a C. i will want to die. but then again, the paper was quite hard. dang.)

maths : E? (i basically screwed it up. by differentiating when they asked to integrate. tell me i am blind. tell me! that's 4 marks. and the last 3 questions are killer and they are worth almost 20 or more marks. hoping to get like 6 marks for those 3. and there are only 10 questions and the whole paper is 50 marks. how screwed am i? very. especially after i realised after the paper that it's integration not differentiation. i could have gotten it right man! pissed i am. at myself. urgh.)

summary of promos. hoping to get maybe 40points? not sure of how they count but hoping of getting it. i need 35 to promote. it's always better to aim higher. haha.